


Kara’s Extraordinary Playlist

by QueenOfTheWildfire



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Bisexual Lena Luthor, Canon Related, Endgame Kara Danvers/Lena Luthor, Eventual Smut, F/F, Fix-It of Sorts, I am Supercorp Trash, Kara Danvers Needs Therapy, Kara Danvers Needs a Hug, Lena Luthor Knows Kara Danvers Is Supergirl, Lena Luthor Needs Therapy, Lena Luthor Needs a Hug, Lesbian Alex Danvers, Love Confessions, Pansexual Kara Danvers, Slow Burn Kara Danvers/Lena Luthor, SuperCorp
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-19
Updated: 2021-01-16
Packaged: 2021-03-02 23:34:13
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 14
Words: 33,573
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24265171
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/QueenOfTheWildfire/pseuds/QueenOfTheWildfire
Summary: This was not the first time Kara Zor-El solar-flared after a major Supergirl fight. This time, however, it was different. This time, she wakes up from her coma being able to hear everyone’s feelings through song. As far as she knew, no one else heard the big musical numbers she did and so, concerned she was going insane, she enlists the help of Kelly to help navigate her strange, newfound power. Needless to say, she learns a whole lot about the lives of people around her… and a whole lot more about herself.OrLena and Kara haven’t talked since they worked together to defeat Lex and Leviathan. Kara tries to cope by being Supergirl 24/7 until she solar-flares from sheer exhaustion and has to deal with it all. Lots of angst and drama and music followsOrThe Zoey’s Extraordinary Playlist AU noone asked for
Relationships: Alex Danvers/Kelly Olsen, Kara Danvers/Lena Luthor, Lena Luthor/Andrea Rojas
Comments: 141
Kudos: 402





	1. Kara’s Extraordinary Sister-In-Law

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Note: There might be some minor trigger topics explored throughout this fic. Please remember your mental health comes first and if mentions of depression, anxiety, su!cide, etc are overwhelming, do not read.**
> 
> _"Say something, I'm giving up on you_  
>  _I'm sorry that I couldn't get to you..."_  
> 

“So this is the fourth day it’s been happening?” Kelly asked, scribbling something in her journal.

“Yeah. Just this morning a barista was full out belting ‘Aint no Sunshine’ while asking me for my order. I thought I could sleep it off, but I’ve heard twelve people sing me their feelings just today so I know there’s something wrong with me. I just don’t know what.”

“You know,” Kelly laughed, “when you finally agreed for a therapy session I did not expect this to be the reason.”

“You don’t believe me, do you? I get it, I wouldn’t even believe me, it’s just I don’t know who to go to for this and I’m banned from the DEO until I get my powers back and I don’t want Alex to worry about and-”

“No, no Kara. I believe you, this is honestly the least weird thing I’ve experienced this month so-”

“So you know how to help?” Kara stood up, excited.

“Well, I would but I don’t know if I’d be able to…” Kelly was getting ready to tell Kara there was no way she could help her but Alex was right when she told her noone could resist Kara’s puppy eyes, “Sure. I’ll help. But only if you promise to do  _ real  _ therapy first.”

“I thought you shouldn’t get therapy from someone in your family? Isn’t that wildly unethical? What did Alex call it… dual relationship or something?”

Kelly hesitated for a couple moments before answering, “Well, yes. But not many know you as both Supergirl and Kara Danvers. And while I can recommend you to many great therapists and we go through an NDA ordeal I know you still wouldn’t feel comfortable enough to let yourself get the help you need. I think you having a therapist is better than having none. And I know there are some things you may not be comfortable with telling me but I want you to know everything we discuss in here stays between us. In fact, I don’t think Alex knows I’m even seeing you today. So, what do you say?”

Kara frowned. Kelly had made some good points- Kara had been referred to therapists at the DEO multiple times but she avoided going at all costs. Something about showing a very vulnerable, very human side of her while dressed as someone who was supposed to be the embodiment of strength and hope didn’t sit right with her. And going to therapy as Kara Danvers the reporter would mean not talking about the trauma and hurt she went through as Supergirl and what good would that do? Maybe she could give this a shot. How bad could it be? Kara begrudgingly nodded in agreement. 

“So, what do you want to start with?” Kelly smiled

“How about, I’m a superhero with no powers or purpose and now I can hear everyone’s thoughts in song and I might be going crazy?”

* * *

As the session continued, Kelly found herself mentally facepalming too many times. Kara somehow managed to evade every effort to have an actual conversation. As soon as they veered towards any subject that didn’t have to do with Kara’s newfound problem with the musicals playing in her head, Kara managed to either dismiss or sarcastically avoid giving her any real progress. But Kelly had dealt with tough patients and she was nowhere near ready to give up yet, and so she decided to change the topic to something the superhero did want to talk about. 

“Okay, why do you think you’re hearing everyone’s feeling in song?”

Kara looks at her, perplexed at the change of pace, and Kelly waits a couple minutes before following up with a, “Do you think it's the universe giving you a sign?”

“What do you mean?”

“Listen Kara, so far I’ve been talking to you as your therapist,” Kelly puts down her notebook and looks at Kara in the eyes before continuing, “but I guess I now see why these dual relationships are so hard to deal with. So, now I think I’m just going to speak to you as a friend. As someone who cares about you, I’ve been… concerned about the way you’ve been acting lately…”

“What but I-”  
“Please just let me finish,” Kelly holds up a hand and Kara stops speaking, nodding to let Kelly continue, “We’ve all noticed the way you’ve changed lately. Alex has been asking everyone to let you have some distance, some time to yourself. But it doesn’t take a genius to figure out you’ve been throwing yourself into being Supergirl to avoid… other things. Any idea why you would do that?”

Kelly waits for the Kryptonian to answer but when she stays silent, Kelly continues, “We haven’t had game night for weeks and you were acting off anyways ever since everything went down with Lex. And Lex is a whole other bag of worms we need to unpack along with this Crisis and other added superhero trauma but first, I just want to know… why did you stop being Kara Danvers?”

“I have not stopped being Kara Danvers,” she scoffs, crossing her arms, “I’ve just been busy being Supergirl and-”  
“And ignoring all your friends and quitting the job you loved so much and lying to your sister?” Kelly stares at Kara, watching her reaction fall from the confident facade to anger to shock to guilt. 

“I haven’t…” Kara whispers, looking down to try to escape Kelly’s piercing glare. 

“Come on Kara. Alex can see right through you. And she’s been so torn trying to give you some space. She told me you’ve only acted like this once before… back when Mon-El had to leave.” Kelly stays quiet after that and just waits. After some suffocating minutes of silence, Kara lets a single tear roll down her cheek. Kelly softens her voice adding, “But even then, you were lashing out weren’t you? Atleast that time you managed to convey some of the things you were feeling. This time, its just you suffering in silence. And we all know how strong you are, Kara. We all understand there are somet things that are difficult to explain and talk about and at first we thought it was because of Crisis and everything before that but I have a feeling this goes deeper. Doesn’t it?”

Kelly waits a couple beats before softening her gaze, getting up and sitting next to Kara. Kara is shaking slightly and the vulnerability her friend shows almost makes her cry. This would be so much easier if Kara was a client she didn’t know so closely and for the second time she realizes why therapists didn’t work with their friends or family. Kelly puts an arm around the younger Danvers before whispering, “You are more than Supergirl, you know. You said it yourself- Supergirl is what you do but Kara Danvers is who you are. Why are you trying so hard to erase her again?”

“It just hurts so bad being Kara Danvers. If I’m Supergirl I don’t have to feel that hurt again,” Kara whispers back.

“Why have you felt so hurt?”

“I know it doesn’t make sense because Supergirl gets beat up more than a mere reporter does but it’s… I don’t know it’s hard to explain.”

“Sometimes, it’s easier to deal with the physical pain than the emotional one,” Kelly offers, encouraging the superhero to open up more.

“Well, I don’t feel pain. My only weakness is Kryptonite remember? Perks of being an alien,” Kara laughs, shifting uncomfortably, her eyes still focused on the floor.

“Listen, I know this is hard Kara. But I also know you are so strong. You, Kara Danvers, are strong. You are so much more than Supergirl and I just need you to understand that…”

Kara tries to pay attention to Kelly. She really does try but somewhere between willing herself not to let her eyes fill with tears and trying to stop her leg from shaking, she slips into her own little world. She still hears Kelly’s voice, faintly speaking then pausing then speaking in the background. Kara tries to concentrate on her friend’s words but the her mind focuses instead on replaying the same song that has haunted her for the past four days.  _ Say something, I'm giving up on you. I'll be the one, if you want me to _ . Kara fights the urge to cover her ears with the pounding sound of her heart getting louder and louder.  _ Anywhere, I would've followed you.  _ Kara shakes her head, trying to clear it of the haunting voice and digs her nails into her thighs to ground her back to reality. 

“... small steps. That’s all I’m asking for. For you to let me help you take some small steps towards being better, okay?”

Kara stays quiet for a couple more beats before finally answering, “I’m sorry I haven’t been myself lately. I didn’t mean to worry you or Alex or anyone else. I’ll do better, okay?”

Kelly winces, holding back everything she wants to say, realizing just how hurt the seemingly strong superhero was in front of her. She takes a deep breath and responds with, “Let’s go get some food. I’ll book you an appointment to talk through more things next week but for now let’s figure out your song problem, how's that sound?”

Kara smiles looking up at Kelly before giving her a hug, “That sounds amazing. Thank you.” 

* * *

Kara takes a big bite of her sandwich when Kelly starts talking, “So, I know I went off on a sort of tangent before. But when I asked if you thought the universe was giving you a sign, I was suggesting this was the universe’s way of reminding you that you can help people as Kara Danvers too.”

Kara answers, her mouth still full, “How do you mean?”

Kelly laughs, “You’ve been so busy saving everyone as Supergirl you forgot how many people you helped as Kara Danvers. Maybe, in exchange for your regular Kryptonian powers, the universe gifted you a way you can help other people to remind you how great you are as a human. Maybe it’s time to reconnect with your human friends and family.”

“So you think I should use the songs I hear to help people?” the blonde asks before taking another huge bite of her sandwich. If Kara was being honest, this was the first time she’s eaten something that wasn’t leftover junk from her fridge. Her appetite for her past few human days had consisted of unhealthy amounts of coffee and candy. Even before that, she piled up on calories only when she had to. She forgot how much she missed actual food, how much she loved the  _ taste  _ of actual food. 

“Well, first things first I think you should reinstate game nights because we all miss you. Get back into your extraverted self.” 

“I guess,” Kara really didn’t want to get back to anything but her duties as Supergirl. But she felt drained now more than ever and decided maybe a boost in friendly interactions would do her some good, “I’ll text the gang for Thursday night.” 

Kelly nodded, smiling, “I’ll mark my calender!”

Kara smiled back but added so quietly Kelly almost didn’t catch what she was saying, “Do you think it’ll be weird?”

“Never. We all love you and I know Nia is going to be super excited. She’s been complaining so much about CatCo not being the same without you. Speaking of, you should take your job back at CatCo…” Kelly didn’t want to push her friend too much in one day but knew being jobless was not good for someone as Type A as Kara. But Kara froze mid-bite, clearly not liking the idea of resuming her time as a reporter. Kelly decided to reason with her, “If you hear anyone you know belting their feelings out in perfect pitch then you can talk to them. It’s a good place to start honing in on your power and helping people. Maybe it’ll help you figure some things out about yourself too?”

Kara nods, contemplating the idea before forcing a laugh, “Okay... but I think we should skip the whole CatCo thing. I mean it’s not the same with Andrea running it and I’ve been needed more as Supergirl. It’s not fair to everyone in danger if I’m spending half my time writing clickbait articles.”

“Kara, you are an amazing reporter and an incredible writer. People deserve to read your words. Besides, what are you doing right now without the DEO? We don’t know how long it’s going to take for your powers to come back and we all know how you can’t sit still for that long without doing anything.”

Kara sighs, hanging her head before looking back up, “I’ve been so busy constantly living in live musicals that I haven’t been bored enough to get a normal job. You are right, though, feeling useless is way worse than feeling powerless. But I still am not ready to go back to CatCo...”

The women eat in silence as before Kara anxiously starts fiddling with her fork, clearly thinking over an idea. “There’s an opening at that new bookstore coffee shop place I’ve been going to,” she nervously starts, “I’ve been spending a lot of time there lately and maybe what I need is something new? I can even help the barista that sang to me...” 

Kelly gives her a disapproving look but Kara either doesn’t notice or completely ignores it and runs with the idea. By the end of their lunch, Kelly realizes there was no way of talking her friend out of the idea. Small steps, Kelly reminds herself. At least they’re making some progress. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this is so short ya'll. I just had this idea while watching Zoey's Extraordinary Playlist and just had to write it.  
> If you haven't seen it, it's on Hulu and I definitely recommend it- I'm a huge nerd for musicals and its just beautifully done.  
> It's been a long time since I've written anything so any criticm would be welcome. English is also not my first language so any grammar policing is welcome as I'm trying to improve my writing.   
> Also, forgive me for any canon inconsistencies- I haven't watched Supergirl after Crisis happened. If there's any major changed you'd like to see please let me know! Like I said, I have no idea what I'm doing and any critism, advice, or general commentary is much appreciated.


	2. Kara's Extraordinary Co-Worker

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _"Ain't no sunshine when she's gone_   
>  _And this house just ain't no home..."_   
> 

“-and she still has no clue!” Nia finishes her latest prank story and Kara can’t help but let out a genuine laugh. Kara missed this- gathering with her family and letting the cares and burdens of being a superhero melt away for a night. 

“It’s nice of Snapper to not say anything,” Kelly remarked. 

“From the information I have about this Snapper, his reaction does not fit his personality profile,” Brainy questions. 

“I guess he despises her more than he despises pranks,” Nia laughed, “He is not nearly as scary as he used to be.”

“Maybe that’s just because you’ve fought way worse being Dreamer,” Alex states.

“Hm that does make sense… but just last week he asked me when Kara was coming back so maybe he is just becoming a softer person,” Nia muses. Everyone turns to look at Kara but she just shrugs, not wanting to ruin the fun atmosphere with talk of why she quit her job. 

Nia launches back into another story involving a prank she pulled on Andrea and the laughter quickly resumed. Some part of Kara felt guilty for enjoying game night as much as she did, but the tequila Alex brought was definitely fulfilling its purpose by not letting Kara dwell too much on the feeling. 

“I admit I did not fully understand the purpose of game night before but I do now and I have got to say... I missed you Kara Zor-El,” Brainy commented, raising his glass before taking another sip of his aldebaran rum. 

“Brainy, I’ve seen you everyday at the DEO,” she laughs.

“I have seen Supergirl everyday at the DEO,” Brainy argued. After a whole night of nothing but laughter, the profound comment took Kara by surprise. And just like that, her earworm suddenly woke up from its deep sleep- _And I am feeling so small,_ _it was over my head_...

When Kara doesn’t respond, Nia interjects trying to save the moment from turning awkward, “Well, I haven’t seen either parts of you Kara. And as I’ve said before you should come back to CatCo before I lose my mind. I need my mentor!”

“You are more than capable of handling your own Nia,” Kara smiles, “You’ve grown so much since we ran into each other.”

“Well I quite literally ran into you! I was so nervous that first time I saw you I couldn’t even speak a coherent sentence,” Nia cracks up.

“And now you’re brave enough to pour mouthwash in your boss’s hidden alcohol stash!” Kara laughs, looking around the room to see her friend’s faces break out in laughter too. Yet, the sight brings an odd aching feeling inside her. She knows she should be happy, and she has been laughing more tonight than she has in a long time, but a part of her just feels so utterly alone and she can’t help but think something was missing. Some part of her was missing.  _ I know nothing at all _

Kelly makes eye contact with Kara from across the room, breaking her out of her daze. Kara smiles before standing up, “So who wants to play some Jenga?!” 

* * *

Kara was not expecting to like her new job as much as she did. She had heard the horror stories of working in customer service but she found that not only were her co-workers friendly but the customers were too, the ladder often laughing as she clumsily learned how to make all the different caffeinated drinks the cafe had to offer. The barista who she heard singing the other day, Aster, worked the same shift as her, and they both quickly became work friends. It wasn’t hard, really, both girls had very similar bubbly personalities and they bonded over their shared love of writing fun little bits of inspiration on their customer’s coffee cups. While Kara enjoyed spending her time working with such a fun person, she realized it was incredibly difficult to enjoy their conversations when Kara could see (or rather  _ hear _ ) how hard Aster was trying to fake being so upbeat.  _ Ain't no sunshine when she's gone.  _ Some days, Aster would belt the song out as she took orders.  _ And she's always gone too long.  _ Other days, the song would be a faint ballad whispered in the background.  _ Anytime she goes away.  _ It happened at least once a day- Aster would excitedly talk about “this new book” she was reading and would laugh at Kara’s bad coffee puns but then, mid-conversation, she would start singing the same sad song.  _ Ain't no sunshine when she's gone. _ Kara wondered how a person so clearly hurting on the inside could keep smiling on the outside.  _ Only darkness every day _ . Then again, wasn’t she doing the same thing? 

By the time Monday came along, Kara decided she absolutely hated Bill Withers. 

* * *

“So what did you think?” Aster took a sip of her macchiato, her eyes lighting up in excitement, waiting for Kara to answer. 

“This is embarrassing but it has been so long since I’ve read a full-fledged book and that too a science fiction one…”

“To be fair you were too busy winning a Pulitzer and being a total badass in the media industry so I guess you have a pass” Aster interjects.

Normally, Kara would be slightly embarrassed by the attention from her CatCo days but she couldn’t help but smile, “Ok you got me there but even so it’s kind of embarrassing for me to have been a reporter who loves writing and not have read books.”

Aster just rolls her eyes, “It’s never too late to read something great. Anyways, I’m still dying to know- what did you think?!” 

Kara laughs before responding, “I loved every part of it.” Kara and Aster had been spending their lunch breaks together as Kara tried to figure out how to help her friend through her problem. Kara, attempting to relieve her conscious of the guilt of enjoying food, grabbed an extra donut to share with her new work friend Friday and Saturday which prompted Aster to show up at her shift on Sunday with a small wrapped book for Kara. Kara was touched and spent the whole night reading through the story so they could talk about it over lunch the next day, which was significantly more difficult without her superhuman speed. In the end, it was worth the read as Kara had tears in her eyes by the end.

Aster lets out a big smile, “Ishiguro is one of my absolute favorite authors. I’m so so glad I finally have an educated coworker to talk about him with!” Aster goes on to ramble about Kazuo Ishiguro while Kara just watches in awe as her co-worker’s eyes light up the longer she talks. With a smile, she realizes this was the first day she hadn’t heard Aster sing to her. Did that mean she was doing better? “What would you say one of your favorite parts was?” 

Kara takes a moment to contemplate. If she was honest, every part of the book was so profound, she couldn’t think of one favorite part. And then she remembered how she agreed to read the book in order to better understand and help Aster in the first place and responded, “You know that part where Tommy talks about the river?” Kara looks up to see Aster’s smile slip as a sort of sadness took over her eyes, “When he talks of the two people trying to hold onto eachother but no matter what they did they were destined to drift apart? Then he tells Kathy he loves her but that it was the same with them?” Aster nodded, the distant look still in her eyes. Kara swirls her coffee cup before whispering, “That part almost made me cry.” 

The girls sat in a comfortable silence, both of them reminiscing that part in the story, both of them letting the sadness the story itself brought wash over them. 

“You know the feeling then?” Aster whispers so softly Kara almost doesn’t hear her, “Having something so wonderful but the current being too strong to hold on?” 

Kara nods, her mind reminding her of the song that still haunts her  _ Anywhere, I would've followed you,  _ “I always… I always hoped we’d find our ways back to each other. But the more time that passes without us speaking, the more I keep losing it…” 

Aster looks up and forces an encouraging smile that doesn't quite reach her eyes, “Then you know… how it feels I mean…”

“It’s like there’s no sunshine,” Kara attempts a sad smile back, “Like it’s just darkness every day without that person in my life.”

Aster nods, “I guess we’re more alike than I thought… Do you think we could’ve stopped it from happening? Drifting apart from someone we cared about so deeply?”

“I don’t think we ever have a way of knowing… maybe we could’ve held on tighter a little earlier if we knew what was coming…”  
“If we knew of the powerful tides we were going to face?” Aster smirks, referring to the book in front of them before continuing, “But how would we have even foreseen that? If I could’ve seen the storm we were drifting into when all our lives we’ve experienced a gentle pond? When did our little safe pond become a river that so treacherously tore us apart from those we tried to hold on to?”

Kara’s heart was hurting and, for the seventh time that day, cursed the downfalls of being so human. _ And I'm sorry that I couldn't get to you. _ She took a deep breath, realizing she had to pull herself together for the sake of her new friend. It was Kara’s duty to help, this was no time to be feeling such sadness. “I think… I think there’s no way of ever knowing what we’ll encounter. Sometimes, I chastise myself for ever thinking it was a good idea to step in the river- or pond, or whatever- in the first place. But then I realize, if I never took a chance, I would still be stuck on land fantasizing about a life I’d never have. Isn’t it better that we atleast got to spend the time we did along this river with another person rather than living our whole life wondering what it would’ve been like?”

“But is this hurt, in the end, worth it?” Kara doesn’t have a good answer to Aster’s question. Maybe it was meant to be a rhetorical one anyway. They spend the rest of their break in silence before they clean their table and make their way behind the cash register. 

Aster smiles at the blonde ex-reporter before putting on her hat, “One things for sure… you, Kara Danvers, are fascinating” 

“Yeah?” Kara lets out a laugh, “How so?”

“Who would’ve thought that the Sunshine Girl was so-”

“Pathetic?” Kara asks, “Melodramatic?”

“Lonely...” 


	3. Kara's Extraordinary Friends

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _"If I fall if I die_   
>  _Know I lived it to the fullest_   
>  _If I fall if I die_   
>  _Know I lived and missed some bullets..."_

Kara wasn’t naturally nosy but she had to admit, she really missed having her super hearing at the moment. She had been bouncing her leg up and down for the past twenty minutes, waiting for Kelly’s patient to come out of the room so she could go in. Not that Kara was looking forward to therapy and talking about things she did not want, really, but she really just wanted to know what was taking so long. Was the patient alright? Was Kelly hurt? Just before she could go down the rabbit hole any further, the door creaked open a little and suddenly the air filled with a melody that Kara did not recognize. 

“Well, here goes the tenth song of the day,” Kara sighed. A man in his thirties stepped out, spinning in circles and holding his pen like a microphone  _ I'm on the pursuit of happiness and I know _

He took Kara’s hand, spinning her around till she was dizzy before letting go.  _ Everything that shine ain't always gonna be gold.  _ Suddenly, all the doors in the hallway were kicked open, a group of what seemed like backup dancers joining the man who kept singing. _ I'll be fine once I get it.  _ Really, Kara was impressed at how in sync everyone was, their voices blending in to create a harmony that sent chills down her spine.  _ I'll be good.  _ This was the first time she heard so many people joining in one song at the same time and she was in awe.  _ Tell me what you know about dreamin', dreamin'.  _ Such elaborate choreography too!  _ You ain't really know bout nothin', nothin' _ . She wondered if everyone had some theater experience in real life.  _ Tell me what you know about the night terrors every night.  _ Night terrors? Well, the lyrics definitely didn’t match the upbeat music they were dancing to.  _ 5 AM cold sweats, waking up to the sky?  _ She wondered if everyone here really felt the same pain she did when she closed her eyes at night and surrendered herself to the overwhelming darkness.  _ Tell me what you know about dreams, dreams?  _ She wondered if everyone here really did understand how exhausting it was waking up screaming every night.  _ Tell me what you know about night terrors nothin'. _ Kara couldn’t help but smile, something a little like the feeling of belonging bringing her a warmth she didn’t know she missed.  _ You don't really care about the trials of tomorrow.  _ Maybe she wasn’t alone in all this.  _ Rather lay awake in the bed full of sorrow. _ She knew she had her friends and her sister and the DEO- it’s just she didn’t think they’d understand truly how she felt.  _ I'm on the pursuit of happiness and I know.  _ To be honest, Kara herself didn’t understand the depths of what she felt.  _ Everything that shine ain't always gonna be gold.  _ And even though no one could know how it felt to be Supergirl other than herself…  _ I'll be fine once I get it,  _ It was nice to know she wasn’t totally alone in how she felt.  _ I'll be good.  _ It was nice to know she wasn’t alone on her pursuit of happiness.  _ I'm on the pursuit of happiness and I know.  _ That is, if such a thing did exist. 

“Kara? You ready?” Kelly’s voice pierced through the musical that was playing out in front of her. The people around her quickly walked away, as if they hadn’t just sang their hearts out to the superhero and Kara had to blink a couple times before looking back at Kelly. 

“Yeah,” she breathed, “Let’s do this.”

* * *

“But it’s not your job to help all those people,” Kelly smiled, a slight eyebrow raise indicating her confusion, “So why do you think you heard them all?” Kara had just finished explaining the episode she experienced in the hallway when the woman asked her if she was okay. 

“I think,” Kara fiddled with her glasses, not knowing why she was so nervous, “Maybe some songs are meant to be heard by me to help me instead of me helping others.” Kelly just gave her a smile, nodding at her to continue. “It’s like Rao knows what I need to hear to connect with other people and sometimes the connections I make with others are not so I can help them through something but so that they can help me. Even if the connection I have with them is fleeting. Like with what happened just now in the hallway, I think I needed to hear what they had to say to realize I had to keep my mind open about therapy so I can stop staying stuck where I am in life. So that I can start understanding what I need to keep walking along the path towards happiness I guess… I don’t know it sounds stupid. It’s probably unrelated. I mean, I know I can hear the songs when someone is feeling a lot of an emotion at a time and we are at a place where people go to get the help they need for that sort of thing, right? So it makes sense everyone was feeling a lot of emotions and sang about it but it’s just nice to think… to believe that Rao is still out there and this is his way of looking out for me. That this is his way of reminding me I deserve to pursue happiness even after… after um… you know… after everything…” 

“You, more than anyone I know, deserve happiness Kara,” Kelly looked straight into the blonde’s eyes and Kara couldn’t help but shift uncomfortably in her seat. Kelly sighed, put her notebook aside and sat up straight. “Ok we are going to try something. And it might seem silly but it’s important okay?” The Krpytonian nodded and Kelly continued, “Repeat after me: I, Kara Zor-El, deserve happiness.” 

Kelly was right, Kara decided, this did seem silly. Nevertheless, she repeated after her, “I, Kara Zor-El deserve happiness.” She wondered if she really did deserve it but she didn’t voice her doubt to the psychologist. 

“Now, repeat: I am more than what I give to others,” Kara looked at Kelly with confusion but she just looked at the alien with a sort of stern look, “You are more than what you give to other people, Kara. Your new power gives you a different way to help people, sure, but more importantly, it gives you a way to help yourself. Understanding human emotions is important because you are as human as you are kryptonian. Understanding how you feel and how you can help yourself is as important as helping others. How is it possible Supergirl can save everyone from everything but can’t save herself from her own self? You are more than what you can do or give to others.”

“I am more than what I can give to others?” Kara whispered, softly, the words causing her eyes to sting. She wasn’t sure why she was suddenly swelling with such emotion and she was sure someone like herself should not be feeling such strong human emotions of all things. And she was sure that being a superhero meant she had to be selfless. The one time she was selfish she… no, she wouldn’t think about that right now. Kara took a deep breath and decided to trust Kelly to know what she was doing. 

“I, Kara Zor-El deserve happiness. I am more than what I can give to others,” Kelly nodded, signaling for the ex-reporter to repeat after her. Kara followed Kelly’s instructions, repeating the words over and over and over again. By the end of their session, Kara had repeated the words so many times, she almost believed them to be true. Almost. 

* * *

“It was amazing! The writing just flowed so elegantly, it was so poetic,” Kara excitedly said told the brunette who was nervously fiddling with the straw on her ice coffee.

“You really think so? Or are you just saying that because you feel an obligation as a co-worker. I swear I won’t poison your coffee if you hate it haha,”

Kara laughed, “No no I seriously love it. I’d love to read more of it if you have the rest of the pdf or the actual book?”

“Well, you see…” Aster started tapping her nails on the table, a nervous tick Kara would find annoying if she didn’t find it endearing, “I haven’t finished it…”  
“Wait, you mean, YOU wrote this?” Kara accidentally shouts in surprise before looking around and lowering her voice apologetically, “Sorry, you wrote this?”

“Yeah,” Aster blushed before taking a sip of her coffee, “I don’t really show it to most people but I guess I just figured. Well, you’re a writer. You’re good with words and I just wanted to get an outside opinion.”

“Well, this is amazing, Aster. I mean, I’m surprised you haven’t been published yet. Honestly.”

“It’s like I said, I haven’t finished it yet. I’ve been meaning to! It’s just… it’s been hard since…”  
“Since the breakup?”

“Yeah…” she whispers, “I just always thought of myself as an independent person you know? I didn’t think it’d be so hard to keep doing the things I love after…” They never specifically talked about the breakup Aster was struggling with but Kara had pieced the conversations they’ve been having together. It was especially clear when Aster had moved on from singing ‘Ain’t no Sunshine’ to belting ‘Wrecking Ball’. 

“I get it… I’ve realized lately that I haven’t been avoiding certain things in my life because they don’t bring me the happiness they once used to…”

“Like being an awesome reporter for a big media empire?” Aster raised her once eyebrow, smirking.

“Yes,” she rolled her eyes

“Do you ever think you’ll go back?” 

“I don’t know… it’s just complicated. But we are talking about you right now. You are a phenomenal writer. Your words deserve to be out there and I know it’s hard your boyfriend was not the reason you started writing in the first place and he should not be the reason you stop!”

“Girlfriend”

“What?”

“My.. um… girlfriend. Well, sort of. Sort of girlfriend.” Aster added, starting to ramble.

“Sort of girlfriend?”

“It’s… complicated.”

Kara sighed, “Well, I guess that’s fair. Either way, your girlfriend was not the reason, Aster. If you need help, I’m here for you. But I have a feeling you showed me this because you want to finish what you started and just needed a little push.”

“Well, you are amazing at pep talks,” Aster laughed.

“So you’ll work on it?”

Aster’s smile slipped as she zoned out into her own little world. Kara sat there, waiting for an answer when suddenly she suddenly heard someone yell her name from across the cafe. 

“So this is where the infamous Kara Danvers has been hiding!” 

“Nia?” Kara stood up, enveloping her friend in a hug.

“I didn’t think I’d run into you here! Snapper just sent me to pick up coffee and I needed a break so I decided to walk here instead of the usual. How are you?!”  
“I’m good! It’s nice to see you Nia,” Kara smiled “Oh, this is Aster!” she gestured at her co-worker who stood up to shake hands with Nia, who instead pulled her into a hug. 

“Aster, this is Nia Nal, my protegee,” Kara introduced, “Nia, this is Aster, the next big author. She has a way with words.” 

“Maybe you should come work at CatCo instead,” Nia joked, “Oh! Are we still doing game night tomorrow? I didn’t get a text so I wanted to make sure it wasn’t just a one time thing.”

“Yeah, sorry I’ll put it in the group chat,” Kara said. 

Nia looked over at the brunette while Kara pulled out her phone, “You should join! If you dont have plans that is. It is super fun just a small group of us getting together.”

Aster looked at the blonde, unsure how to react to the unexpected invite. Kara looked up and excitedly added, “Yes, please come! It’ll be fun and it might just give you that extra inspiration for your writing.”

“Well, I am free tomorrow night…” Aster said, still unsure. 

“Perfect, I’ll add you to the chat,” Nia pulled out her phone, prompting Aster to type in her number. 

Kara couldn’t help but laugh at the sight. She didn’t even think to ask Aster to game night but she had to admit they had grown a lot closer together in the few weeks they worked together. They had quickly become friends and knew Aster would fit in well with her crazy friend group. A part of her worried this would become another situation where she-

“I do have to go before I get yelled at, but it was nice meeting you Aster!” Nia broke Kara out of her thoughts, “I look forward to crushing you in everything we play tomorrow!”

Kara and Aster started clearing their table as they watched the young reporter rush to order coffee. 

“Nia seems nice,” Aster laughed.

“I hope you didn’t feel pressured to accept that game night invite. I do think it’ll be a good idea for you though”  
“I look forward to it,” Aster assured. 

“And your writing?” Kara questioned as they walked back towards the counter, “Will you finish your book?”

“We’ll see…” Aster smiled. 

* * *

Kara did not expect human alcohol to be so fun. As Supergirl, she was careful about the amount of alien alcohol she would take because she hated the feeling of not being in control when people needed her. As Kara Danvers, an ex-reporter with no superhuman problems who had already lost control of her own life, she found she could effectively get drunk after four shots of her sister’s whisky and enjoy it. 

“That’s cheating!” Alex shrieked, “Just because you’re new here does NOT mean you get a pass for cheating!” 

“That was not cheating. You’re just a sore loser,” Aster laughed. Kara had to admit, she was a little nervous about game night being awkward with an addition to the group, but the nervousness had vanished the minute she realized her new friend was just as competitive, if not more competitive, than her sister. 

“Babe, I’m sorry to break it to you, but she won fair and square,” Kelly laughed, kissing the red-haired woman on the cheek. 

“Hey, whose side are you supposed to be on?!” Kara couldn’t help but join in on the laughter. 

“I will gladly beat you again if you want a rematch?” Aster added, her one eyebrow raised in a challenge. 

Kara couldn’t figure out why but she hated when the brunette did that. Before her sister could respond, Kara stood up to announce she was going to get more snacks and excused herself to the kitchen. She dumped a pack of unpopped popcorn into a big bowl and threw it in the microwave when she heard a crash behind her.

“So.. Aster...” Kara jumped, half because of the sudden crash and half because she was not expecting to be followed into the kitchen and her sister’s voice scared her. 

“Alex! Do not sneak up on me like that!” Kara gasped. She really missed her super hearing. 

“Sorry, sorry,” Alex raised her hands in surrender, “So, Aster…”

“What about her?” Kara asked, confused, leaning back on the kitchen island and crossing her arms in front of her. 

“She’s nice…”

“You could’ve fooled me,” Kara laughed, “You guys have been at each other's throats since she got here!”

“You know it’s all in good fun,” the older Danvers rolled her eyes, “I know you’re grown up and can take care of yourself but you’ll always be my baby sister, I just wanted to make sure-”

“Wait wait, there’s nothing going on between me and Aster!” Kara exclaimed, “Like I told you guys, she’s just a friend from work. Nia ran into us and we invited her.”

“Sure…” Alex narrowed her eyes, not convinced, “I’ve seen the way you keep glancing at her Kara and I seriously don’t mind I mean I’ve known for a while now that you-”

“Alex I’m serious there’s nothing going on there. We are friends.”

“Like you and Lena were just friends?” Alex folds her arms in front of her, and Kara seems to have lost the ability to talk as soon as her ex-best friend’s name comes out of her sister’s mouth.  _ Say something, I'm giving up on you.  _ Alex takes the silence as a sign to continue talking, “It’s not a big deal Kara. I had a suspicion for a while now and I remember when you first came to Earth you were so confused why gender and sexuality was such a big deal so it makes sense. And it perfectly explains why you were hurt so much after the fallout with Lena and why you defended her so much all the time-”

“I defended her because she is good Alex not because I like her or something!” Kara was shaking, her hands clenched in fists as a wave of emotions threatened to suffocate her completely...  _ I'm sorry that I couldn't get to you. _ Kara took a couple of deep breaths, “Besides she’s made it perfectly clear we are not friends anymore so I don’t even know why you’re-”

“Because she hurt you Kara! And we never got to talk about it!” The older Danvers was now practically screaming, throwing her hands up in frustration. It was clear to Kara that her older sister had been holding this in for a while now and so she chose to not interrupt her. “You just threw yourself into being Supergirl and it was like déjà vu for me. When you stopped being Kara Danvers after Mon El left my heart was broken Kara. And when you came back, stronger than ever, I was the happiest person on this planet. I thought it was because of Lena that you were smiling again and I meant to talk about it sooner but I didn’t really recognize what you two had until you refused to date William. But then the fallout happened and you didn’t talk to me about it. You just effortlessly slipped into being Supergirl all the time, trying all the ways to help out Lena, to get her back. Then the Crisis happened and we were so busy for so long and then you worked together to take out Lex and I thought you two had worked it out and I could have my Kara back. But that didn’t happen. My Kara never came back and Kelly told me to give you space and have faith that you’d come back to us when you were ready but then you solar-flared and I almost lost my baby sister entirely” Alex was crying now, tears streaming down her face and Kara was frozen, not knowing what to do. 

A part of her wondered why her sister wasn’t singing to her. Overwhelming feelings meant singing right? Maybe her powers were glitching… she’d have to bring it up with Kelly next time. The other part of her was breaking a little on the inside, not realizing the degree of pain her actions had caused Alex. There was an awkward couple of minutes of silence, the microwave beeping in the background.  Kara was still stuck in one spot, her sister’s words hitting her harder than she expected when Alex let out a shaky laugh, “So you can understand why, when I saw parts of the sister I love so much come back, I thought you and Aster were something more… It doesn’t matter to me what your relationship status is Kara and whether you’re dating a man, woman, alien, or nobody at all but your happiness does matter to me. I just want my sister back-” Kara managed to snap herself out of the daze she was in and pulled her sister into a hug. 

She squeezed her sister as hard as she could, hoping to convey how sorry she was and how much she missed her too, while simultaneously realizing no super strength meant she could hug her as hard she wanted without the fear of crushing her. Alex’s tears wet Kara’s shirt but she didn't mind. “I’m sorry, Alex…” She whispered, “Would you like to come have a sleepover with me tomorrow night? And we can talk all about the Crisis and Lex and everything that’s been worrying you.” 

Alex broke out of the hug to give the younger Danvers a little punch on her shoulder, “Ofcourse, dummy. I’d love to.” 

“So are we good?” Kara asked, nervously.

“We will be. We always are Kara,” The sisters smiled at each other and Kara felt a weight lift off her shoulder that she didn’t even know was there, “We gotta get back before your girlfriend starts wondering if I killed you or not”

“For the last time she’s not my girlfriend,” Kara rolled her eyes, laughing as she grabbed the popcorn from the microwave. 

“Sure she isn’t,” Alex teased, snatching the bowl from Kara’s hand, “Say what you want but you’re still blushing.”

The sister walked back into the living room where their friends were sitting, laughing and throwing food at each other. Alex jumped back onto the sofa next to Kelly, giving her fiance a peck on the cheek before she challenged Aster to a rematch, throwing popcorn at her for extra emphasis. Kara laughed her way back to her spot next to Aster and gave her a smile. 

“I’m glad you invited me to game night,” the brunette leaned in to whisper in Kara’s ear, “You were right, your friends are great.”

“I’m glad you’re having fun,” Kara smiled genuinely, “You’re right they are awesome.” Kara looked around the room, her heart swelling with love. 

She found her smile slip slightly as she looked around the room, realizing something was missing. Before she could figure out what it was, Aster tapped her on the shoulder “Hey, you okay?” 

“Yeah, I was just thinking...” Kara shook her head.

“About what?” Aster furrowed her brows, clearly worried about her new friend. 

“Nothing really… I don’t know I should be happy- I mean, I AM happy here you know? There’s just… something-”

“Or someone?”  
“What?”

“Someone that’s missing?” 

The Kryptonian inhaled sharply, a flash of green painting her memory. 

“It’s okay,” Aster snapped Kara out of her thoughts, “To be happy I mean. You don’t owe your happiness to another person who is or is not in your life you know…” 

She was worth more than what she could give to others, Kara reminded herself, she deserved happiness. The Kryptonian pulled herself together and mustered a smile for her friend, “Yeah. We both deserve happiness don’t we?” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't think I like how this is turning out... might just delete it :/


	4. Kara's Extraordinary Filler Chapter

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _"Back and forth now I'm feelin' guilty_   
>  _'Cause I just can't stop this pendulum in my head..."_

All the tests at the DEO indicated she was fine. And Kara knows she should be worried. Her powers, her Kryptonian ones at least, haven’t come back and everyone was stumped. She could see the worry in her sister’s eyes, the strained smiles everyone at the DEO gave her when they realized Supergirl had yet to recover from her solar flare. Yet, Kara practically skipped to work that day, somehow feeling lighter than she should have for a superhero with no powers. 

“You look happier than usual, Sunshine,” Aster smirked, taking a bite of her croissant, “Someone special behind that smile of yours?”

“Yeah,” the Kryptonian winked, “I get to spend my break time with an extra doughnut and a super talented writer so I guess you could say I am high on life right now.” 

“Talented writer? Wow you’ll have to introduce me,” the brunette teases, looking left and right before shrugging her shoulders.

“Yeah it helps that she’s easy on the eyes,” Kara makes a point to stare at the woman in front of her before they both break off in laughter. 

Kara can’t quite pinpoint when her coworker had become a friend let alone when their whole dynamic shifted to flirting and spending most of their time together- not that she was complaining. It was refreshing to spend time with someone who made you forget to check the time and even more refreshing to be able to effortlessly flow between deep conversations and uncontrollable laughter. 

“No no but seriously, what has you in such a good mood?” Aster inquired after the laughter died down. 

“I don’t know… I guess, for the first time in my life, I feel like I finally have a choice you know? I know it’s a little selfish of me, nothing ever ends well when I’m thinking about myself and it’s horrible of me to even-”  
“Hey taking care of yourself for once is not selfish,” Aster cuts in, stopping the rambling blonde, “You are one of the most genuine, selfless people I’ve met so no self-deprecating or whatever you were just about to do.” Kara frowns but Aster just gives her a don’t-argue-with-me-you-know-I’m-right look and she throws her hands up in mock surrender. 

“Sorry,” Kara rolls her eyes. Not that she would ever admit it, but that was another aspect of their friendship that Kara appreciated- they always managed to call each other out and reminded each other of the importance of positive reinforcement, something Kelly always stressed, and they were slowly building each other up to be good to themselves. 

“Now, try again,” Aster nods.

“I feel like I get to have a say in my life and maybe figure out what it is I want for myself. And I’ve realized it's a very... freeing feeling”

“Dare you to say that ten times fast,” Aster laughs, “In all seriousness, I am really happy for you! Happy looks good on you, it’s infectious really.”

“And it looks good on you too! Tell me, any personal revelations behind that smile of yours? Or are you just extra excited to spend time with me?” Kara teased back. 

“Well, nothing as good as that but…” Aster digs into her backpack for something before grabbing a binder and presenting it to Kara, “I finally did it…”

“You finished it?!” Kara screams out in excitement, grabbing the binder to flip through it, “I’m so so excited for you- this is huge! Why didn’t you lead with this? This is amazing!”  
Aster lets out another laugh, more intrigued by the blonde’s excited reaction than anything, “You didn’t even read it yet-”

“I know it is amazing,” Kara cut in, still flipping through the binder before pausing and looking up, “wait, it’s okay I read this right?”

“Well, why do you think I gave it to you?” 

“Right,” Kara smiles as Aster helps her friend flip through the pages to land on the last thing she read. 

“Actually, you might want to hold off on reading that, our shift begins in five,” Aster reminded Kara, to which Kara frowned. 

“That’s not fair, you did this on purpose!” The blonde wailed while closing the binder and regretfully passing it back to her friend, “How am I supposed to survive another shift like this? If I don’t read it right now, I might just die!” Kara dramatically stood up, grabbing her heart and feigning a heartbroken expression, causing the brunette to burst out in laughter again. 

“Ah yes how dare I be so evil,” Aster rolled her eyes. 

“I will be counting the seconds before our shift is over and as soon as it is, I will be taking that binder from you, finding a nice table, and finishing your story so I can tell you how amazing I knew it was going to be,” Kara squinted her eyes, pointing her finger in an attempt to look threatening. 

“Well, that’s going to be a lot of seconds. Are you sure you’re up for that?” Aster teased. 

* * *

The two women finished up their shift in no time, the constant teasing and laughter making the seconds pass faster.

“Take your time, I’m going to grab another coffee,” Aster comments, shaking her head when she realizes Kara wasn't listening, already too busy buried in pages made up of the brunette’s words. 

By the time Kara finished, there was a single tear running down her face and an anxious Aster was tapping her nails on the table waiting for her friend’s response. 

“So um what did you think?” Aster asks nervously. 

“That was… absolutely beautiful. I knew it was going to be amazing but Aster this is a masterpiece. I think my heart just broke- but like in a good way! Well, my heart is not okay but I mean your writing was so good and it was- I am going to stop talking now before I start rambling more and in return you’re going to tell me how you figured out your ending…”

“I’m glad you liked it,” Aster let out a breath she didn’t know she was holding before continuing, “I don’t know I think it was you that inspired the ending.”

“Me?” Kara asked, confused, a slight red painting her cheeks. 

“Yeah… you remember our conversation from the other day? About goodbyes and how hard they were? Then you said-

“That goodbyes were hopeful?”  
“Yeah,” Aster smiled, “It got me thinking that the reason I’ve been struggling so much with my own sort-of breakup was because I never got the closure I needed. But sometimes, we avoid getting the closure we need because we’re afraid we might break into too many tiny pieces. Because if we break any more, we may never be able to piece ourselves back together again…” 

Aster barely managed to finish her sentence when Kara heard it-  _ There's never been a way to make this easy.  _ Weird, Aster hadn’t sang to her for the past couple days. Why now?  _ When there's nothing quite wrong... _ Aster’s lips were still moving, but she was definitely not the source of the melancholy melody...  _ but it don't feel right.  _ She tried to focus on Aster but the song filled up the room, leaving the brunette’s next words faded in the background.  _ Either your head or your heart,  _ But if it wasn’t Aster... _ you set the other on fire…  _ where was the song coming from?  _ No one knows, knows.  _ The blonde stood up, and it seemed like everything was in slow motion.  _ No one knows, knows.  _ Strange, noone was dancing around her.  _ We fell from the peak.  _ Noone seemed to be coming up to her to sing either.  _ And the stars, they broke their code.  _ The voice sounded familiar…  _ I'm tryna forget how I landed on this road.  _ Kara made her way across the cafe, looking around her to no avail.  _ I'm caught in between what I wish and what I know.  _

“Lena?” She whispered to no one in particular.  _ When they say that you just know.  _

“Kara?” A voice broke her out of the mysterious musical number, “Are you okay?” Aster. That was Aster. Calling Kara from across the cafe. 

“Yeah…” Kara turned around to face her friend who had a concerned look on her face. 

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah,” Kara shook her head, “Sorry I just thought I heard.. something.” Aster looked at her confused but didn’t say anything as they both sat back down. Kara tried to shake herself from the song she just heard but couldn’t get the voice out of her head. _ Who wrote the book on goodbye? _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sort of a filler chapter bc I didn't get much time to write today... on the upside I'm excited for the Danvers Sisters chapter tomorrow!


	5. Kara's Extraordinary Sister

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _"And I will say that we should take a day to break away  
>  From all the pain our brain has made, the game is not played alone..."_

“I was so sure,” Kara explained, “But there was no one was there.”

“Just one thing I’m still confused about, why did you think it was Lena? You told me you haven’t spoken since-”  
“Since Lex. Yeah.. and I know this is crazy but there’s been this song that has been replaying in my head since the first day. Sometimes it's right before I’m going to sleep and sometimes it's in the middle of the day when I’m doing something completely normal, um say something!”

“I’m sorry, I don’t know what you want me to say Kara I-”

“No no it was called Say Something by that one band. I know this sounds impossible but I think it was Lena who was singing that to me. I heard it when I regained my consciousness the first time. So when I heard this other song at the cafe I knew the voice sounded so familiar and at first I was confused but the more I think about it, the more I just know it was Lena’s voice. I just know…”

“Okay let’s backtrack a little here. You’ve been hearing Lena since you solar-flared? Why did we never talk about this?” 

Kara shrugged, “It didn’t seem important. And it made me sound even crazier than I felt at the time. It’s not everyday you wake up thinking your ex-best friend was singing to you before realizing you can hear everyone sing to you. Besides, there’s nothing to talk about with Lena.”  
“Have you ever thought that maybe talking about her might help solve this little problem of yours? We talked about a part of you getting these powers since your solar-flare was so you could understand your own feelings as well as other people’s right? So if your emotions have been caught up in Lena then well, shouldn’t we assume that- ”

“I’m not ready…” Kara whispered so softly that the therapist almost didn’t hear her. 

“It’s been months, Kara,” Kelly reasoned softly, “This is literally the first time in a long time I’ve heard you even say Lena’s name and no one brings her up because you shut down at the mere mention of her name-”

“I do not!” Kara shouted suddenly, surprising even herself at how defensive her voice sounded.  The two women sat in silence for a while before Kelly hesitantly started, “Okay, we don’t have to talk about… whatever happened specifically but maybe you could give me an idea of what you’re feeling? Because I can’t tell if hearing her sing to you is a good thing or not or if it's something else entirely.”

“I miss her,” Kara admitted, “I miss her and hearing her voice, even if it was all in my head, just brought up everything I’ve been trying to avoid. Like after the incident at the cafe, I felt so angry afterwards and then, I just felt… empty.” The superhero sat up straight and sighed, running her hand over her face before continuing, “It was so much easier to not think about the fallout with Lena when I was Supergirl because then I could just-”

Kara trailed off as soon as she heard the voice-  _ Am I the only one I know? _

It wasn’t Kelly singing to her, that much was obvious.  _ Waging my wars behind my face and above my throat.  _ Not Lena’s either- her voice had haunted her since day one and she’d recognize it anywhere.  _ Shadows will scream that I'm alone… _ It was a distant voice, so soft that Kara almost thought she imagined it, coming from either right outside the door or from the room across the hall.  _ I am not as fine as I seem, Pardon.  _ She felt like she was intruding and tried to refocus on her conversation with Kelly.  _ me for yelling and telling you green gardens.  _ But the voice was gradually getting louder, making it hard to concentrate on anything really.  _ Are not what's growing in my psyche, it's a different me, a difficult beast feasting on burnt down trees.  _ So the blonde stood up and made her way towards the door.  _ Freeze frame, please let me paint a mental picture portrait. Something you won't forget, it's all about my forehead  _ She turned the doorknob just as the full force of the song hit her, making her a little dizzy.  _ And how it is a door that holds back contents that makes Pandora's box contents look non-violent.  _ She opened the door to see a woman banging her head on the wall, screaming out the lyrics backed with the full force of her emotions.  _ Behind my eyelids are islands of violence, my mind ship-wrecked this is the only land my mind could find.  _ The woman turned around, making eye contact with Kara who stood there frozen, taken aback by how deeply she resonated with this stranger’s feelings.  _ I did not know it was such a violent island full of tidal waves, suicidal crazed lions.  _ She swore she had heard the song before but couldn’t recognize the artist. _ They're trying to eat me, blood running down their chin.  _ Kara felt a chill run down her spine, and once again felt guilty for listening in to the woman’s inner thoughts.  _ And I know that I can fight, or I can let the lion win, I begin to assemble what weapons I can find.  _ With all the strength she could muster, she forced herself to turn around and walk back into Kelly’s office and shut the door behind her.  _ 'Cause sometimes to stay alive you gotta kill your mind.  _

* * *

“Well I just thought it was because you were oblivious to his feelings! Poor Willy was super into you and I was trying to be a good sister to nudge you back into dating!” Alex exclaimed, giving Kara a little shove as they both broke off into laughter. If Kara was honest, she didn’t realize just how much she missed spending time with her sister. Turns out, a sister's night was exactly what the two of them needed. 

“No you’re making me feel bad. I just disappeared on him,” Kara sheepishly admitted after the laughter died down. 

Alex gasped, “Did you even tell him when you quit?”

“No…” 

“Well,” the older Danvers hesitated. Kara gave her a nod, encouraging her to continue, “I don’t want us to… stop this. Having fun and laughing I mean. It is so good to hear you laugh and be yourself for a little while but…” 

“But…?” Kara prompted after the redhead stayed quiet for a couple beats too many. 

“I wanted to say I was sorry. For not figuring out your relationship with… well, your real feelings…you know...” Alex paused, observing the range of emotions that flickered across her sister’s face. Defensiveness gave way for anger leading to confusion, nostalgia, sadness, and finally landing on hesitation and vulnerability. 

“I… I didn’t realize either,” the blonde whispered. 

Alex scooted closer to the Kryptonian, putting an arm around her. “When did you...know?”

“On Krypton, concepts of sexuality didn’t really exist. We were assigned mates based on our compatibility and it was all a very scientifically-sound affair. I guess that’s why the gender norms and, well, everything confused me so much. I already felt like such an outcast that I decided I couldn’t risk being any more different than the normal here,” she smiled despite the sad look in her eyes, “I guess that’s why I was so confused when you came out to me. I had kind of brainwashed myself to try to fit in as much as possible that I didn’t think that being anything other than straight was an option. In Earth terms I guess you could say I’ve always been pansexual... ”

“When did you know about Lena?” Alex asked after another bout of silence.  _ Who wrote the book on goodbye?…  _ No. Kara decided. She was not going to let a song distract her from the conversation she owed to her sister...  _ There's never been a way to make this easy...  _ Even if the voice sounded like Lena.  _ When there's nothing quite wrong but it don't feel right.  _ Kara shook her head, trying to rid her mind of the song that was on constant replay as soon as the CEO’s name was said.

“I- I don’t know. I think sometime during Crisis is when I truly understood the depths of what I was feeling for her… I never really had a best friend, other than you of course but you’re my sibling so it barely counts. So I just assumed best friends acted the way we did and I never questioned our friendship…” Alex nodded, letting Kara take her time to speak, “I didn’t really understand why I didn’t want to go out with William at the time either. It felt wrong dating anyone when things were so wrong with Lena. I was devastated when I found out she wasn’t really okay with me being Supergirl and I… Well, anyway it clicked sometime during Crisis. We were all stuck in this horrible little pocket dimension? I don’t know it was strange… but it was a place outside of space and time. They called it the vanishing point…” Kara let out an unamused laugh, her body shaking slightly at the memory, “It was a fitting name. We were stuck there for so long and with Lex… it was like I was stuck in my pod lost in space. But it was worse because the monster that was responsible for so much of my pain was there to mock me every second of the day. I could move around and walk and talk and I still couldn’t do a single thing to escape…” a single tear escaped the blonde’s eye and Alex just pulled her in tighter, “If it wasn’t for the girls and Barry I don’t know if I would have remained as sane as I did. They kept me grounded. Barry talked about how the thought of going back to Iris grounded him. I didn’t really give it much thought, I mean, he was the paragon of love so of course his love was what grounded him. But then, Sara talked about how it was the same for her but with Ava. She was still beat up about Oliver at the time and worried about her team a lot but, for the most part, anytime I asked her what she was thinking about when she was lost in her thoughts, she’d start talking about Ava, all their memories together and the time she looked forward to spending with her. And after I stopped thinking about Krypton and Argo and our Earth and you and all our friends and family, everyone we lost... I just kept wondering if Lena had made it. The hope of finding her in any universe, and making things right again was what kept me going. There was one time Lex made a comment about her and I just got so so angry that Kate had to hold me back from tearing his head off and when I sat down and wondered why I reacted so harshly I realized maybe what I felt for Lena was more than friendship…”

Kara was letting her tears flow freely now. Alex was too pained for her sister to comment on anything. She wished with all her heart she could just take all the bad things that happened to the Kryptonian and shoot it to pieces. All she could do was sit there and let Kara finally feel the things she had been avoiding and hope she would be okay. 

“I’m scared, Alex…” Kara whispered, her face buried in the older Danver’s shoulders. 

“You don’t need to be, Kara. I’m right here… whatever it is, we can get through it together, okay. We can figure this out together…”

“I’m scared she’ll never forgive me… All I’ll ever have to cope is regret I didn’t realize sooner. I had so much hope when we made it through all the Anti-Monitor craziness. I thought that on this new Earth, maybe I could tell her first. And we could start over… but it was worse. Even working together hurt because she’d look at me with that cold look in her eyes and only call out to me as Supergirl. She was… was the one person I could be Kara around so completely. I know… I know I was selfish in my reasons to not tell her but shouldn’t me telling her despite everything in this new universe count for something? I knew telling her could mean we’d go back to fighting and I took that chance because I promised I’d never lie to her again and I just wanted to do right by her…” Kara was rambing now, breaking out of the cuddle to add arm gestures to go along with her frantic voice, “I just wanted to be good, Alex. I wanted a chance. We did so well when we defeated Leviathan and Lex and I thought maybe we would work through everything together but then she just gave me the cold shoulder and… and it hurt… it hurt so much more than kryptonite or Mon-El or Argo or the Vanishing Point or anything…”

Kara was hiccuping now, her brain running too fast with all the things she never said for her words to catch up. Alex saw the struggle on her face and asked, “Is that why you tried to get rid of Kara Danvers?”

Kara was shocked by the hurt she saw on her sister’s face, even though she tried to mask it. Taking a deep breath, she admitted, “...yeah I guess so…”

“I understand…”

“If I was Supergirl, I could just punch the next available threat and keep my mind so busy that I wouldn’t have to think about… everything,” She continued, spilling the things she couldn’t say during her therapy session with Kelly, “Even thinking about Lena hurt.”

“I’m sorry, Kara…”

“It’s not your fault Alex. You tried so hard to help me in your own way. I'm sorry I didn’t open up to you sooner.”

“So, how are you coping now… without the powers to distract you?” Alex questioned, still hesitant. 

“I am trying to… work through all my emotions. Well, everything, instead of fighting through them. It’s a lot harder than I thought but… I think I am getting there. Slowly. And… Aster helps…”

The redhead gave a teasing smile, “So I was right afterall.”

“Shut up,” Kara smacked her sister on the arm, letting out a laugh, “She… well, she understood somewhat of what I was going through. She broke up with her girlfriend-”

“I knew it! Kelly owes me five bucks this is amazing!”

“What?” Kara asked, confused. 

“Never mind,” Alex smirked, “Sorry, I got carried away. Carry on.”

Kara gave her a skeptical look but continued, “Anyway, she broke up with her girlfriend and I don’t know… we bonded very easily. And working at a cafe has been oddly therapeutic so that coupled with not having any responsibilities as a superhero has helped I guess.”

“I know this is also a… sore subject but… do you want your powers back?” 

“What? Why would you ask that? Of Course I do, I have to be Supergirl!”

“I didn’t mean… listen Kara, you seem happier than I’ve seen you since even before Crisis. The last time I saw you genuinely okay was after your lunch with Lena after you flew all over the world to get her food. Which, come to think of it, is so gay. It’s a wonder I never picked up on this, honestly,” Alex pacepalmed herself before continuing, “And that part of my memory is still a little weird because of the whole timeline-being-erased thing. Technically, this world has the entire league of superheroes to help out with threats and I know being Supergirl is a big part of your identity but… being Kara Danvers is a big part of your identity too. But maybe, after you found yourself more comfortable with the idea of not having superhuman powers, maybe you found yourself more… I don’t know, happy? I don’t know. I guess if I felt like I let my duty to others dictate my entire life only to go through something so traumatizing then being relieved of my duty would feel more freeing?”

“Like it was good to have a choice?” Kara whispered nervously. 

“Yeah…” Alex nodded, “Something like that. It’s more than okay to feel that way you know..”

“I know…” Kara responded, “It’s like a weight has lifted I guess…”

Another silence blanketed over them. Alex smiled before changing the subject, “I understand why you wouldn’t want to go back to work at CatCo but why didn’t you try to go work as a reporter elsewhere? Or even pickup keeping a blog or something? You’re talented enough to make a living writing…”

Kara let a couple beats of silence pass between them, the sound of crickets chirping outside filling the room instead before letting out a deep sigh, “She… um well, during the Crisis… well… you see-”

“Are you blushing right now Kara Danvers?” Alex questioned before raising a brow, intrigued, “Spill it out!”

“She was the reason I became a reporter,” she breathed out quickly. 

“What?”

“She… well, initially when Kal and I went to interview her after… after she moved here when we went to go um interview her. Well, she asked me if she’d see my name on the byline and I mean.. Well, her presence was so intimidating at the time I still… I still remember it just feeling so flustered and I… I told her I wasn’t a reporter...she said ‘could’ve fooled me’. And that’s what got me thinking maybe that was something I wanted to do. Pursuit of truth and telling a fair story and all. Then my first article was my interview with her and she just believed in me so completely… as a reporter I mean… she was so excited to share her product and everything she even thought I was going to write a scathing article.. .and she even went and changed her mind about her product that definitely would’ve made her billions because she’s just that good of a person and… and now I’m rambling,” the blonde hung her head, “Sorry.”

“Don’t be,” Alex went in to hug the blushing alien, “I missed this Kara…”

“Me too,” she admitted. 

“So, what now?” Alex asked, letting the blonde go. 

“What do you mean?”

“Are you going to talk to Lena while you’re still, you know, powerless? Or are you moving on with Aster?” Kara responded with silence and Alex let her sister take her time before continuing, “DO you want your powers back or are you… I don’t know… okay with being this new human Kara?” 

_ Either your head or your heart, you set the other on fire… _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is turning out more meh than I was envisioning if I'm being honest


	6. Kara's Extraordinary Workday

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _"Fool me once, fool me twice_   
>  _Are you death or paradise?_   
>  _Now you'll never see me cry..."_

“Look who’s in a good mood this time,” Kara smirked, hugging Aster before putting on her work hat. The superhero had opened the doors of the cafe only to be immediately spun around by a complete stranger and flung into a dance number.  _ You take the grey skies out of my way, You make the sun shine brighter than Doris Day... _ Half the cafe was full of people jumping on the tabletops and joining in on the chorus of…  _ Turned a bright spark into a flame My beats per minute never been the same…  _ well, she couldn’t remember the name of the song but she had definitely heard it before. Turns out, Aster had joined in on the singing too but she didn’t really need an upbeat song to know the brunette was in a good mood, “Someone special behind that smile of yours?” 

“Yeah I get to see my best friend at work so you can say I’m high on life right now,” Aster rolled her eyes but giggled. 

“Seriously though,” the blonde prodded, her hands busy making a latte but her mind busy being curious, “Any good news to share?” 

“Well…” Aster was about to respond, clearly radiating excitement but was cut off by an approaching customer. 

As the brunette went to take a customer’s order, Kara realized that every second the conversation was postponed, Kara’s heartbeat quickened. The oncoming stream of customers making it impossible for Aster to finish her sentence definitely did not help calm her heartbeat. She felt like she was going to burst at any moment. She couldn’t really place the feeling… is it close to restlessness? Suffocation?... like she was locked in a tiny closet… anxious? afraid? Why would she be nervous of the brunette’s answer? What would she be afraid of? It didn’t make sense... Feelings were too hard, the kryptonian concluded. She could’ve texted Kelly but she didn’t want to risk being caught on her phone during her shift so she just waited, trying and failing to calm her heartbeat.

* * *

“Ugh, if I had known we would get caught up in a pre-lunch lunch rush today I would have just called in sick,” the brunette threw her hands up in the air as she took a seat across from Kara, “Almost ruined my mood. Super no bueno.” 

“Since when did this place become so popular,” Kara questioned, annoyed from working with a constant stream of customers. 

“No clue, “ Aster sighed, taking a long sip of her iced latte before widening her eyes and jumping up and down in her chair, “OH okay so you know how you asked me why I was so happy this morning?” 

“Before we were so rudely interrupted, ofcourse,” Kara nodded, “So there IS a special someone?” The kryptonian desperately hoped the girl across from her couldn’t hear the tightness in her voice. 

“No,” Aster responded quickly, too excited to notice that the blonde had let out a huge sigh of relief at her answer, “I have big big news about my story. You know how I’ve been sending it to so many publishing companies?” Kara nodded, eyes wide and already ready to jump up to congratulate her friend as she continued, “The owner of a publishing house personally reached out to me to ask me to come in for a talk!” 

“That is amazing Aster! I knew you could do it! Who’s the lucky company that gets to work with you?!” 

“I’ll tell you when it’s official,” Aster winked.

Kara laughed, “Okay, on one condition though…”

“And what condition is that?” 

“Don’t forget about me when you’re famous!” 

“Okay but only if you agree to my condition,” the brunette quirked her eyebrow.

“And what condition is that?” the ex-reporter smiled, tilting her head.

“You’ll take me out to celebrate if everything works out during my meeting.” 

“Of Course! Are you kidding me?! Nia would kill me if we didn’t throw you a party to celebrate. Come to think of it, our entire friend group would kill me,” Kara laughed.

“Our?” 

“Yeah ‘our’,” the superhero rolled her eyes, “I swear my sister and her fiance have more brunch dates with you than they have with me. And everytime I talk to Nia about anything she brings up some conversation she had with you.” 

“Okay, okay that is fair,” Aster threw her head back and joined in on the laughter.

“I think you are a part of more group chats with them than I am at this point! And I’m honestly surprised no one has planned you a party already!”

“Oh Nia definitely will as soon as I tell her. That’s why I’m not telling anyone about this until I’m 100% sure that I can get a deal with this company first.”  
“I am 100% sure you are definitely getting a good deal. I just might have to get back into reporting when that happens. Breaking news: the most amazing author sells thousands of copies of her debut book,” the blonde laughed as she added exaggerated hand gestures to her words, “The world is going to finally meet my awesome best friend and they’re going to adore you!”

“Thank you,” Aster smiled before the smile slipped off her face completely. She quietly took a sip out of her drink. 

“Wha- what’s wrong?” Kara furrowed her brows, “Is it something I said?” 

“No! Kara, of course not, I just…” 

“I mean, know it's nerve-wracking to be walking into a meeting like this after you worked so hard on your book for so long,” Kara reached across the table to grab her friend’s hand when she grew quiet, “You are going to do great Aster, I mean you’re-”

“No seriously you didn’t say anything wrong Kara,” she interjected. 

“Then what-”  
“If my meeting goes well…” Aster interjected again before trailing off. Kara nodded, encouraging the brunette to keep going, “I mean, what I meant when I said… you know what never mind, forget it,” she stood up out of her seat and turned to leave but Kara stumbled out of her seat and grabbed her wrist. 

“Tell me what’s wrong Aster,” the ex-reporter pleaded before loosening her grip on her friend’s wrist, “Please?” Aster turned around but her eyes avoided the blonde’s gaze. Her reaction had been unexpected and seeing her upset genuinely worried the superhero. After a couple moments of silence, the pair sat back down at the table, Kara nervously swirling her coffee cup as Aster kept her gaze locked on the table while fiddling with the straw in her long-finished iced latte. 

Somewhere in between the agonizing moments of silence, a soft piano started to play in the background. Kara fought the urge to cover her ears because the timing of the music could not be worse.  _ I should have known... _ The song was not coming from Aster, her lips were closed in a thin line…  _ I'd leave alone.  _ She had to pay attention to what the brunette was going to say; whatever it was was obviously weighing down on her.  _ Just goes to show that the blood you bleed is just the blood you owe.  _ The voice was haunting… Kara shook her head, trying to focus all her attention on the woman in front of her.  _ We were a pair but I saw you there.  _ Kara moved her chair closer to the table and reached out to take the Aster’s hands into her own.  _ Too much to bear.  _ She squeezed the brunettes’s hand, letting her know it was okay to speak and that she was there for her.  _ You were my life, but life is far away from fair.  _

After another deep breath, Aster finally looked up, “I know you’ve been through a lot this past year and I may be misreading this so please tell me if I am because I don’t want this to be another… situation.”  _ Was I stupid to love you? _

“Situation? I don’t understand…”  _ Was I reckless to help? _

“I don’t want to ruin whatever this is and I don’t want to ruin my relationship with our friend group,” the kryptonian smiled when Aster put an emphasis on ‘our’ and nodded for her to continue, “I’m still messed up from what happened between me and my…well we were definitely more than best friends but I’m not too sure there is a word for what she meant to me…”  _ Was it obvious to everybody else? _

Kara held her breath but when Aster didn’t continue, she finally whispered “I know I don’t know the specifics of your fallout, but I know she meant a lot to you and that she hurt you, Asterm but you’re the one who told me that your happiness shouldn’t be dependent on someone else right?”  _ That I'd fallen for a lie. _

Aster shook her head in frustration before interjecting, “The point is, I had trust issues to start with but that incident just really fucked with my head. Ever since, I didn’t let myself get any closer than acquaintances until, well until you and your friends barged into my life,”.... _ You were never on my side…  _ Kara held her breath, the music finally fading from her mind, leaving her to hear nothing but her own thumping heartbeat. Aster let out a forced, nervous laugh before pulling her hands away from Kara’s and running them through her hair before continuing, “When I thought I would never genuinely laugh again, I found this job and some great co-workers. When I thought I would never trust again, I gained a whole circle of friends. When I thought I would never…. Like someone again….well, you happened. I love spending time with you and I don’t know, I just feel this connection between us like I’ve known you forever. So when I asked for you to take me out to celebrate if everything works out with my meeting...I meant like just you and me. On a date.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for the overwhelming love and support- I was truly not expecting this to get more than like three readers. I do apologize for the short chapter, life's been crazy (on a side note- I hope y'all are staying safe and continuing to love and respect one another) but I do think I'll be continuing this story if only to see where it goes. I apologize in advance for future short chapters or agonizingly slow updates.   
> On another side note, I am working through a playlist when writing and I have a lot of ideas that I'm excited to explore but I'm always welcome to any sort of criticism, plot idea, or even song request. Thank you guys so much <3.


	7. Kara’s Extraordinary Day of Apologies

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _"I will take you in my arms_   
>  _And hold you right where you belong..."_

“I’m sorry Alex,” Kara sighed, “I don’t mean to let you all down…”

  
“No Kara it isn’t your fault. I’m just frustrated we can’t figure out what’s wrong,” the director sighed, pinching her nose with her thumb and forefinger.

  
“Well it’s not your fault either. I know we can figure it out,” the superhero tried to give an encouraging smile to her sister who was busy pacing back and forth. J’onn and M'gann had been taking turns fighting crime as Supergirl and while Kara was grateful they could help keep the media off her back for a while, she knew they had their own life and couldn’t keep it up forever. Kara knew it wasn’t technically her fault her kryptonian powers were nowhere to be seen but she couldn’t help but feel guilty. A part of her enjoyed her new normal, which didn’t help her guilty conscious one bit as her friends were working hard to fill the Supergirl-shaped hole that the world was left with because of her own recklessness. The tiniest part of her wished she would’ve never woken up after getting knocked out during the fight but she pushed the thought deep down before she could pick it apart.

  
“You feel okay though right? Physically?” Alex asked, sitting down next to her on the bed.

  
“Just dandy,” Kara smiled leaning her head on the redhead’s shoulder, “Seriously, you shouldn’t worry so much. Like I said, we’ll figure it out.”

“I know I asked this before,” Alex whispered despite them being in a sound-proof lab room, “But do you want to be Supergirl again? Truely?”

  
Kara had thought about it a lot and if she was being honest, she didn’t know the answer. It seemed she didn’t have answers for many things these days. But she heard the slight hesitation in her sister’s voice and she didn’t have the heart to tell her anything less than what she needed to hear. She already had the weight of the whole secret organization and the safety of the world on her shoulders, Kara couldn’t add to that stress, “Ofcourse, Alex. But it’s you and me, remember? So together we’ll get my powers back and then we’ll go kick some bad guy ass together. Don’t worry about it for a second.”

  
“And if we can’t figure it out? If we can’t get your powers back?”

  
“Danvers sisters, yes we can…” Kara slowly whispered back, a smile growing on both the women’s faces.

  
“If you can’t do it Danvers can...”

* * *

“I’m sorry. I know you want an answer from me but that’s not how therapy works. I’m just here to guide you to figure out the answers for yourself,” Kelly crossed her legs and tilted her head at the blonde superhero who was currently crossing her arms and pouting in front of her.

  
“Well aren’t you supposed to be here to help me figure out my feelings? What is the point of this if you aren’t going to help,” the superhero pouted.

  
“I know what you’re doing Kara and it isn’t going to work,” the therapist gave her a stern look that caused the blonde to fidget in her seat.

  
“Ugh, fine,” the kryptonian rolled her eyes and slouched further into the couch, a part of her hoping it’d just swallow her up, “But you still owe me advice.”

  
“Of Course I’ll help you. But first, real therapy, deal?”

  
“Deal,” she frowned and a couple moments of silence passed over them before she finally sighed and admitted, “I’m trying really hard but I’m still… still not okay. I can smile easier and I’m doing everything you’ve told me so far you know. Giving myself a chance at happiness is hard when I don’t know what it is that’ll make me happy…”

  
Kelly waited a few minutes for the blonde to continue but when she seemed to be caught up in her own world, she prompted, “There’s no magic formula to happiness, Kara. Sometimes all we can do is give ourselves a chance.”

  
“I know we’ve been over this before but if I’m being honest, I’m not too sure I even deserve it ya know?” Kara whispered so softly, the therapist had to lean forward to hear her, “I’m trying to let go of this weight I feel for all the worlds and have been telling myself that I deserve to be happy but some part of me just isn’t convinced. I became a reporter and Supergirl for the same reasons- to help people and give them hope. But now, I think- I think I’m happy... but I’m still lacking…. Purpose I guess? I don’t know... It just feels like maybe everyone is better off without Supergirl or Kara Danvers. So where does that leave Kara Zor-el?”

  
“It depends… what does Kara Zor-El want?”

  
“That’s what I’ve been trying to tell you!” Kara throws her hands up in frustration, “I don’t know what I want!”

  
“Keep it simple Kara. A lot of people spend their entire lives trying to construct a perfect life to achieve happiness. But, well, what I myself know of it, it’s the little things in life that give you that feeling.” Kara looked at the therapist, confused. She never thought of herself as a particularly unhappy person but she was very lost on the concept. Kelly, realizing her words weren’t really helping, got up and walked behind her desk to open a drawer and take out what looked like cases for a pair of glasses. The superhero tilted her head, even more confused, as Kelly sat back down on the chair in front of her.

  
“What is-”

  
“The old version of the Obsidion North contacts,” Kelly interjected, opening up the case to reveal the contacts and prompting the superhero to put them on, “Don’t worry, these are completely safe. I was going to hold off on the visualization therapy for a while but I have a feeling you need this,” the therapist put on a pair of contacts as well, gestured for Kara to lay down on the couch, and pressed some buttons on a tablet before the contacts both glowed white, immediately transporting Kara into a completely white room, “Let’s try this,” Kelly’s voice echoed in Kara’s ears but Kara couldn’t spot the therapist anywhere in the endless void of white surrounding her, “Deep breaths, Kara. Deep breath in…. And out. Feel your shoulders relax and your heartbeat slow,” the superhero closed her eyes and spent a couple moments doing just as she was told, “When you open up your eyes I want you to pretend you’re waking up... the sun beaming in through your windows. You have no responsibilities. You have no obligations. You have no limits. Possibilities are endless and you get a chance to do whatever you wanted for a whole day with no consequences or setbacks. Everything can be perfect… so, where do you go? What do you do?”  
Kara steadied her breathing, listening to the therapist’s words but not opening her eyes just yet, lost in the sheer amount of choices she could make. Her lips curled up in a smile- just being allowed to make choices without any worries sounded nice. With happiness in mind she opened her eyes…

  
The first thing she noticed was the deep feeling of relaxation she felt. She ‘woke up’ feeling light. A lazy smile on her face, the sun streaming in to light up the room, curtains fluttering, birds singing in the background. She sat up only to realize she wasn’t in her apartment bedroom. Yet, something inside of her told her she was home. Kara stretched just as the smell of pancakes hit her. She shuffled out of bed, opening the door to a soft melody being played on the speakers. I've loved you forever, in lifetimes before… The blonde couldn’t help but smile, pancakes and NYSYNC? This day was off to an amazing start. _And I promise you._ She stepped out of the room towards the kitchen only to be attacked by a puppy. _Never will you hurt anymore._ She laughed, picking up the dog as it attacked her face with kisses. _I give you my word, I give you my heart._ Cradling Krypto in her arms, she finally walked to the kitchen to see a raven-haired girl dancing to the music, occasionally singing into a kitchen utensil while flipping pancakes. _This is a battle we've won._ Kara’s heart was bursting with feelings she never wanted this morning to end. _And with this vow._ A flash of green, and Kara suddenly jolted awake, panting, sweating, a cold feeling drowning out everything she felt in her VR world. _Forever has now begun._

* * *

“Brainy is right, you have been acting weird lately,” Nia, who was currently sipping her third mimosa, commented, “Alex is wrong though I can sense its not because of your powers-not-coming-back dilemma.”

  
“What?” Alex frowned, slamming her beer down, “Oooo did you have a dream about this? Do you know a Kara secret? Kara what’re you keeping from me this time? What happened to no secrets?”

  
“Don’t be silly,” Kara defended, “There are no secrets.” The blonde let out a couple forced laughs, really hoping her secret wasn’t out.

  
The three women were sitting on the empty roof of Kara’s apartment building, eating pizza, gazing at the city lights, and catching up on the mentally draining day each of them apparently had and Kara was appreciative of the company.

  
“Wait Brainy said something about it to me too, actually,” Alex sat up straight, remembering the conversation she had with the 12th Level Intellect after the kryptonian’s lab tests, “He muttering something about whether or not he should intercept and say something to you and risk the butterfly effects or not. When I asked him what he was thinking about, he asked me how I would ‘rate Kara’s current emotional state’ and whether or not I thought that the superflare was ‘affecting Kara’s mental abilities of decision making’”.

  
“That’s… weird,” Kara commented, perplexed as to why Brainy would ask that.

  
“Yeah, I tried talking to him after but he was still busy spouting out numbers and percentages and things and I thought it was because he was stressed out about not being able to find a solution that he was acting that way,” Alex took another sip of her beer as Kara started overthinking Brainy’s behavior. Did he know about her being able to hear people’s emotions and thoughts through song? Did he think that she somehow was blocking her own powers from coming back? Did he-

  
“Well, the only thing he said to me about Kara was this afternoon when he said ‘Kara is being weird is she not?’. Buttttt, Alex reminded me,” Nia hiccuped, “I did have a dream about Kara the other day. It was weird, not what I was talking about with the weirdness though”

  
“You had a dream about me?” Kara asked, confused.

  
“Yeah, you were dressed as Supergirl though, singing a song at the DEO. At first I thought it was a warning that the Music Meister was going to come whammy you into a musical. But now that I think about it….”

  
“Now that you think about it…” Alex prompted when Nia trailed off.

  
“Well you were singing that one uhm dangit what was it called…. Well that song you know by that one guy…” Nia was snapping her fingers now, trying to remember the name, looking at both the Danvers sisters for help only for them to shrug, “I looked it up right after I woke up… ugh… oh! Oh it’s by NF!”

  
Alex let out a low whistle, “NF? Are you okay lil sis?” She turned to Kara who just shrugged, not knowing who the artist was.

  
“You know him?” Nia interjected, grabbing Alex by the shoulders in excitement.

  
“Yeah, I’ve been using Kelly’s spotify since I forgot the password to my account when I got my new phone and she used to listen to him. What song did you hear Kara sing?” Alex answered, slowly escaping the girl’s grip.

  
“It’s the one where he goes ‘If lonely is a taste then it's all that I'm tasting, do you hear my cry?’” Nia asked, hopeful, but the director just shook her head and gave her a shrug.

  
“I’m sorry, I don’t-”

  
“Either of you want to fill me in on this because I’m still lost,” Kara interjected, awkwardly laughing.

  
“Give me a second,” Nia held up a finger with one hand, pulling out her phone with the other. Kara shifted her weight from one foot to the other, slightly impatient.

  
“Dammit!” Nia cursed, throwing her hands up in the air, “My phone just died. Alex you have your phone on you?”

  
“Mine died a half hour ago,” She answered apologetically.

  
“Kara?”

  
“No, I actually forgot my phone in my bedroom,” Kara scrunched her nose together.

  
“We should probably head back down anyway,” Alex reasoned, “If Kelly called me then she might get worried. I got to get this thing charged.” She waved her phone in the air and the women started to gather everything up and made their way down the stairs.

* * *

“You sure you’re okay Kara?” Alex asked for what seemed like the hundredth time that day.

  
“Yes, of course Alex. You know we’ve misinterpreted Nia’s dreams before, who knows what they mean?” Kara hugged her sister. They were both leaning into each other on the couch, beers and ice cream littering the coffee table in front of them. Nia had left shortly after they made their way down the roof and, since Kelly had called to tell Alex she was going to be late still because of work, Alex decided to stay over for another hour or two.

  
“I’m not only saying it because you sang ‘Can You Hold Me’, Kara, I’m just saying because I know it’s been hard for you lately,” when Kara raised an eyebrow at the elder sister, she rolled her eyes and added, “Fine, it was also because Kelly did mention that you walked out of your session early after the VR failed. I wasn’t going to bring it up but, I just want to make sure.”

  
Kara leaned back on the sofa, facing the ceiling as she let a silence fall over them. She tried all day not to think about it. But no matter what she did the smell of pancakes still followed her everywhere, as did the sounds and… well, everything. Truth was, she couldn’t stop thinking about it. According to herself, all she needed to be happy was a nice home with a dog and… she shook her head, trying to clear her mind of the image of the love of her life making her breakfast.

  
“It didn’t hurt me in any way, Alex. You don’t have to worry about it. Honestly I’m okay,” Kara whispered, not necessarily lying, but not necessarily telling the whole truth either.  
“You can talk to me about anything, Kara. I'm here for you, you know that right?” The red-haired woman whispered back.

  
“I know… I really am fine,” the superhero insisted.

  
“I trust you,” the director confided, “I just…I- I know it’s hard to…to feel like… I do know how it feels to not know yourself. To look in the mirror and be unsure of your identity,” Kara was letting tears flow freely down her face now as her sister attempted to wipe them with her sleeve, “I do know how it feels to realize something about yourself and be questioning the- the realness of your life. To be hiding behind the truth of what it is you want because you’re scared that if you come out and take a chance and things don’t go your way that- that that will crush you. I know how lonely that can make you feel. But Kara, you are not alone.”

  
Kara sat up, nodding and faced her sister the tears still streaming down her face, “Thank you Alex. I- I love you,”

  
“I love you too dummy. That’s why I just want you to be okay. I want you to be happy.”

  
“What if...” the kryptonian hiccuped, “What if I’m not meant for happiness? I mean some people just aren’t and what if-”

  
“Kara, you, more than anyone I know, deserve happiness,” Alex interjected in her director voice, staring right into Kara’s soul and leaving no room for argument, “If there’s one thing I know in this-this crazy world it’s that you deserve happiness and you will find it.”

  
Kara couldn’t help but smile, remembering familiar words come out of her sister’s fiance's mouth. Just as she was about to respond, Alex’s phone lit up with Kelly’s contact. How’s that saying go? Think of the devil? Well, in this case, it’d be ‘think of the angel’ because Kelly was most definitely one of the sweetest, selfless people she’s ever met. When Alex hesitated to pick up the call, Kara exclaimed, “Talk to your fiance you goof!”

  
As soon as Alex picked up the phone, Kara saw the immediate affect of just the sound of Kelly’s voice on her sister’s face. The director had completely melted, a smile on her face, her voice soft and loving. Kara remembered when her sister was so heartbroken over Maggie and she thought she’d never find love again. She’d practically given up on the idea of marriage and started looking at adoption centers for herself and somehow, through what seemed like pure coincidence and destiny, Alex had found Kelly. They found love and happiness, why couldn’t Kara do the same?

  
Kara mulled over that thought the rest of the night and even after Alex left. Well, the superhero had to practically shove the woman out of her apartment because she was still so worried about Kara. Regardless, Kara laid on her sofa, letting herself relive her perfect VR morning. It seemed so simple, she thought. Was it really that simple?  
Before sleep could claim her or soberness could change her mind, Kara got out her phone and scrolled through her contacts before selecting she started typing out the message.

  
**K: Yes. I’m sorry I was an idiot but asking for time is stupid. I’d love to take you out.**  
She hit send without overthinking it and bubbles popped up immediately.  
**A: Like with a sniper or on a date?**  
**A: I’m fine with both but just wanted to dress for the occasion;)**  
**K: Ha ha very funny.**  
**A: I am thank you very much.**  
**K: Shouldn’t you be asleep right now? You can’t be dead for work tomorrow...**  
**A: I can be if you uphold your deal with that sniper ;)**  
**K: Why are you so eager to die before going out on that date with me? :/**  
**A: So you ARE taking me out on a date...?!**  
**K: Hold your horses woman. First you gotta charm that publishing house owner and land that deal ;)**  
**A: But if I don’t? :(**  
**K: You will. I know it.**  
**A: :)**  
**A: What made you change your mind so fast Sunshine? I thought you were worried about ruining the friendship or being co-workers and whatnot….**  
**K: I was reminded of the shot I have at happiness and** \- Just as Kara was about to type the rest of her response, her phone buzzed with another notification. The number wasn’t saved on her phone and the blonde furrowed her brows, wondering who would be texting her at three in the morning on a weekday.  
**Unknown: I’m sorry, Kara...**


	8. Kara's Extraordinary Headache

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _"Nothing is what it seems_   
>  _Tell me about the man in your dreams_   
>  _And was it me?..."_

“She’s going to do great!” Nia exclaimed, “You sait it yourself a million times, Kara, she’s going to kill it at her meeting.”

“Then you’re going to enjoy your evening with her and realize all this worrying about the date was for nothing,” Kelly added.

Kelly, Nia, and Brainy had decided to kidnap Kara, who had thoroughly annoyed everyone with her anxiousness towards a certain date, to get breakfast and cheer up the blonde. The kryptonian had kept her promise of keeping quiet about the meeting Aster had with the publishing house but was so incredibly unprepared for the date that would follow after that she couldn’t help but ramble her worries in the group chats. While Nia and Kelly were both busy showering her with reassurances, Brainy was uncharacteristically quiet and refused to look at Kara in the eyes which, in turn, made her extra nervous. What if Aster doesn’t get the deal? Or worse, what if she does and then decides she doesn’t want to date a has-been reporter? Or even more worse, what if the date goes horribly and-

“Kara you haven’t even touched your donut,” Nia broke the blonde out of her mini-mind spiral.

“I am not that hungry…” Right on cue, Kara’s stomach betrayed her with a loud rumble which caused everyone to start laughing.

“Your stomach clearly disagrees,” Kelly pointed out after the laughter died down, “You need to eat.”

“Fine,” Kara rolled her eyes and begrudgingly took a big bite out of her strawberry donut. It tasted amazing, to say the least, and she proceeded to inhale three more donuts fairly quickly. It definitely helped feel less nauseous so that was a plus.

“I’m so excited for you two,” Nia squeals, “I love Aster and you two are going to be so cute together!”

“As per human dating practices, getting dinner together one night does not constitute a relationship dear Nia,” Brainy speaks up for the first time, surprising everyone, “Many factors go into making such a night perfect that we cannot properly predict the outcome of said date and therefore cannot imply there will be an established relationship going forward- Ow!” Nia not-so-subtly slapped Brainy on the arm who tried to move away from the woman. Nia, still committed to keeping her encouraging smile towards Kara as she attempted to shut up her boyfriend, merely scooched closer to him and elbowed him again, “There is no need for violence I am merely clearing up the science behind- ow! Darling I love you but please stop hitting- ow!”

“Shouldn’t you of all people be able to tell me the odds on the date going well, Brainy?” Kara tilted her head, decidedly not addressing the events unfolding in front of her (Nia was now furiously typing something on her phone and, again not-so-subtly gesturing to Brainy to check his own phone).

“Oh! Um… you see I… unfortunately I… well, what I mean to say is-”

“He’s sick!” Nia interjects, once again elbowing her boyfriend, “right Brainy?”

“Oh yes. That is in fact why I cannot predict the outcome of this dinner because I am physically sick with… um with the… well, I am sick,” Brainy’s voice had started getting louder and louder the longer he spoke and if that wasn’t suspicious enough, the fact that he immediately started typing on his own phone and gesturing to Nia to look at hers definitely told Kara that something was wrong.

“I’ m going to fail aren’t I,” the blonde whined, slamming her head on the table and covering her face with both her arms, “Ugh I knew this date was a bad idea! This dates going to go terribly and we’ll never speak again and I-”

“Kara this date was a good decision. It will be good for you,” Kelly patted her sister-in-law on the back and spoke in a soft, reassuring and soothing voice, “ I’m sure Aster is just as nervous. You two have hung out a hundred times before, this is just fancier clothing and dinner instead of work clothes and lunch. I’m sure you have nothing to worry about.”

Kara tilted her head up, a frown still painted on her face, “A twelfth level intellect basically predicting a horrendous outcome to the first actual date I’m going to go on in years seems like a pretty big something to worry about.”

Kelly and Nia both simultaneously turned to the Brainy in question, crossing their arms and giving him a stern look. Kara never thought she’d see the man look as nervous as he did right then. Flustered and obviously backed into a corner, he tried to redeem himself, “I was not necessarily saying the end state will end in pain for either parties I was merely stating that- ow! Nia, honey, please just tell me what to say!” Nia smiled sheepishly at Kara and started gesturing towards Brainy’s phone again while Kelly just shook her head and Kara wished she had her x-ray vision so she could read whatever it was that was being passed between her two friends.

“Brainy, it’s okay you don’t have to lie to me. I’m a big girl and it’s okay if-”

“No, no you misunderstand,” Brainy interjects, clearly not paying attention to his girlfriend’s texts or elbowing, “In fact, there is a 91.7% chance the date will go well, which is an incredibly high percentage for someone in your particular situation!” All the women turned to look at Brainy in question.

“Brainy, why didn’t you just say that then instead of being so difficult? That seems like a piece of information you should’ve just told her to calm her down in the beginning,” Nia voiced the group’s thoughts.

“Frankly it is because….” Brainy trailed off, struggling to continue, “Well, it is a good prediction but…”

Brainy continued to struggle through a response but Kara was too distracted as two strangers started singing a song she wasn’t quite familiar with. _Step out into the sun, skies above they radiate me._ _Lift up, carry the love- Do you know?_ Kara nodded along to whatever it was Brainy and Nia were talking through and wondered how she of all people got stuck with this mystery song-hearing power. _That I've been out of my mind, this slow life I'm waiting for you. To swing me all of your line- Do you know?_ Kara swore she heard Brainy mumble under his breath ‘it's bad news for me’ but couldn’t be sure, her head too full of song. _Come back into the good life, lose these hazy love lies._ She buried her head in her arms on the table once again, hoping her friends would just see it as another moment of exasperation from her as she tried to block out the soft song that filled her head. _I've been chasing my mind, lonely in the cold nights._ Kara wasn’t angry for the power itself- it was surprisingly helpful to know what the people around her were thinking and it made her job more fun when she got to write an encouraging note on people’s coffee orders and hear the song fade into the background, a smile breaking out on their face. _'Cause I'm kicking up stones without you, can't pick up the phone without you._ Times like these, however, is what got on her nerves. _I'm a little bit lost without you, without you._ When she’d convince herself that she was having a pretty good day and then some stranger around her started singing a song that hit a little too close to home? And I'm digging down holes without you, can't be on my own without you. _I'm a little bit lost without you, without you._ She could not fucking stand it.

  
* * *

  
Kara’s own overthinking and stressing helped her get through the morning shift fairly quickly and before she knew it, it was her lunch break. She grabbed hot chocolate and a couple chocolate croissants, deciding that while she definitely did not need caffeine, she did need to eat her nervousness away. She couldn’t help but pull out her phone, and hover over the mystery text she received what simultaneously seemed like forever ago and just last night, a new habit of hers whenever she found herself getting too caught up in her own thoughts.

**Unknown: I’m sorry, Kara…**

She would’ve believed it was a stranger who got the wrong number if it wasn’t for the fact that this Unknown person had used her name specifically. Whoever unknown was knew her. Alex had offered to let the DEO trace the number but Kara had declined, hoping whoever was at the other end of the line would simply elaborate on the strange late-night text. She had waited seven days - Seven. Whole. Days - and, clearly, this unsaved number didn’t want to talk to Kara.  
She had been focusing a lot on the topic of happiness and being truthful to herself with Kelly so that she could find her own happiness; so, being honest, Kara had admitted to herself that the real reason she didn’t want Alex to figure out who was behind the mystery text was because deep down, she was still holding out hope. A small part of her truly thought it was her ex-best-friend finally reaching out. And rereading the text gave her the tiniest flicker of hope that-

 _Now I'm walking on sunshine, whoa._ A loud voice pierced through the room and stopped Kara’s train of thought. _I'm walking on sunshine, whoa._ Kara had to fight the urge to cover up her ears and she let out a groan. _I'm walking on sunshine, whoa- and don't it feel good?!_ No part of Kara felt good currently. She could not relate to the singer and was honestly all kinds of messed up with her own worries. _Hey, all right now- and don't it feel good?!_ The kryptonian stood up, ready to run to the bathroom in hopes of escaping the rest of the singing when someone called her name and the song stopped as quickly as it came.  
  
“Sunshine! Guess what?!” Her co-worker practically tackled Kara with a hug before she could move, “I got the deal!”  
  
It took a couple seconds for the ex-reporter to connect the dots and realize it was, in fact, Aster who had bombarded her brain with the short cover of ‘walking on sunshine’ and that she was singing her heart out and hugging her because her meeting went well. “I knew you could do it! I told you they were going to love you!” Kara squealed, hugging her friend back and rocking back and forth in excitement.

“All thanks to you! I’m so excited this is literally my dream coming true right now,” the brunette bounced up and down on her toes and her clear excitement rubbed off on the superhero, pushing all negative thoughts to the back of her mind and unlocking a genuine smile. For the next couple minutes, Kara felt like she was flying high over the clouds of National City thanks to the woman in front of her and no one could take away the feeling.  
  
“I am so happy to hear I’ve been wondering about you all morning- sit and tell me every detail! What exactly did they say? How’d you begin the conversation? How many languages is your book going to be published in? I want to picture the whole thing!”

“Now who needs to hold their horses?” The writer smirked and raised an eyebrow, causing the blonde’s heart to decide to go crazy, “Okay so full picture huh? I woke up feeling like shit but this cute girl wished me good luck and that was all I needed to gather my courage and…”

Kara, once again being truthful to herself, had to admit she stopped listening soon after the brunette started talking. She was just mesmerizing to look at and Kara hadn’t realized just how beautiful Aster was. Now that they were going on a date, she was allowed to appreciate the alluring way her friend’s mouth came together to form sentences that always sounded like poetry and the way she bit her bottom lip in the middle of sentences when her thoughts ran too fast for her mind to catch up. She was allowed to appreciate the slight accent that clung to the ends of certain words and how the way the sun landed on her tan skin was like Rao himself recognized her beauty.  
Aster would always complain how her eyes were an ‘ugly poop brown’ but Kara always thought they looked like hazel dew drops of honey in the light. Currently, the kryptonian could not stop staring at the brunette’s eyes. Kara took a sip of her drink to hopefully hide the blush that was creeping up her cheeks as she decided to tune back in to what her friend was saying.

“... and I was skeptical when she gave me that list of changes she wanted to discuss for the book. Then she started yelling at me out of nowhere and telling me that just because I was too afraid of my own truth didn’t mean I deprive a whole new generation of girls of the inspiration and acceptance and love and courage and well, she went off and started listing a ton of things, but basically she wanted me to change the character back to being a girl and wanted to pursue the LGBT theme I had on my first draft of the book! I was so scared the story wouldn’t be told by anyone if my characters weren’t, well you know they were super hetero- which is fine! Because I support that too!- But I mainly only made them so because I didn’t think it’d get published if it was otherwise. Like I said, this piece is so close to my heart because it so parallels like my own experiences and whatnot and while I was trying to erase parts of it to fit the norm, here was this badass powerful woman- I mean I couldn’t honestly figure out if she was scolding me or helping me, but either way- it was like she literally could look into my very soul. Thanks to her my book is not only getting published but she is giving me a free creative pass and I feel like I’m dreaming, Kara! I mean Ms. Grant is just so-”

“Wait Ms. Grant? As in Cat Grant?” Kara blinked a couple times, not knowing if she heard correctly.

“Founder and ex-CEO of CatCo? White House Press Secretary? The woman who literally owns a freakin country in the Himalayas because she’s that awesome? I mean she-”

Before Aster could finish her fangirl moment or Kara could process the information, a heavy beat of drums and guitar screamed into the blonde’s head. Seriously, the songs picked a bad day to continually invade her brain at the absolute worst times.  
_I went to bed that night and dreamed of better things._ Kara was never a fan of rock. _A god, a devil, and me._ The thrashing nature of the instruments had given her sensitive ears a thundering headache the first time Alex had introduced her to what she deemed ‘good music’. _And how you lost your wings._ Kara, who couldn’t help the pained expression on her face, decided to look around the room to see who was singing to her this time. Sometimes, a small conversation is all it takes for a stranger to stop singing to the kryptonian and she’d honestly do anything to stop the loud pounding in her head. _But I know that you know that I know that you don't really care._ Her eyes landed on a blonde who seemed to be frozen by the ‘pick up’ line by the counter who seemed to be standing, staring and Kara and singing in a pained voice. _Let's talk about your hair and how it's grown…_ That was strange, Kara thought, she had never seen the woman before in her life... _And how we know that we're not getting anywhere_. No, Kara realized. She wasn’t singing to Kara. _But I know that you know that I know that you don't really care._ She was singing to the woman sitting with her. _Let's talk about your hair and how it's grown…_ Kara glanced over at the brunette to ask her if she knew the singing blonde... _And how we know that we're not getting anywhere_. “Claire?” Aster whispered.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel a strange need to clarify that I myself am a huge fan of rock, especially when it beats scissors.  
> I'm tired there's no need to overanalyze that^.  
> Also thank you all so much for your comments and your support.  
> Stay safe and stay wild <3


	9. Kara's Extraordinary Long Day

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _"...And my heart goes_   
>  _Out to you_   
>  _Wherever you are..."_

Kara has been in many awkward situations in her life but this definitely took the crown. 

“I didn’t think I’d run into you here,” The blonde stranger stood in front of Kara and Aster, shifting her weight between her feet, “You’ve… grown.” 

Aster stayed silent, staring at the woman when Kara spoke up, “Um hi. Claire right? I’m Kara. Kara Danvers!” the superhero shook hands with the infamous ex who also decided to stay silent. Kara began feeling like a third wheel as the two women in front of her just stared at each other. “Um, I think I’ll just… yeah I’m going to leave you two to uh catch up and I’ll just-” 

“No, stay,” Aster interjected, grabbing the Kryptonia’s arm before she could leave. Kara turned to look at the brunette, shooting her a questioning look. “I… um...please?” 

“Ofcourse!” Kara smiled, deciding to push away how uncomfortable she was so that she could be there for her friend. She gestured to the two women to sit down and the trio was enveloped in an almost-suffocating silence. 

“Sorry I should just… I don’t know what I was thinking I just saw you and uhm… yeah this was a bad idea… I just- maybe I should… well, I was just wondering if you… never mind I should uhm… yeah I should go,” Claire scrambled to get up but Aster reached her hand across the table, gesturing to her to stay. Kara, still feeling like she was intruding, rubbed soothing circles on the brunette’s back. Claire took her seat again and started tapping anxiously on the table, her eyes darting back and forth between the superhero and the writer. 

“How are you?” Aster whispered after another couple moments of awkward silence. 

“Good,” Claire let out a strained smiled, “Not as good as you apparently but… good.” 

Aster looked like she was about to object but instead turned to give Kara a kiss on the cheek, causing the latter to blush furiously, “Yeah, Kara and I were just talking about our date night tonight when you came over. We’re celebrating!” 

Claire shifted uncomfortably in her seat, “Oh! Congratulations!”

Kara furrowed her eyebrows, “Wait we’re not-”

“Yeah I love her more and more everyday,” Aster interjected, turning to look at the flustered superhero, “What about you Claire? Any special someone in your life?” Aster leaned closer to the superhero, and arched an eyebrow, clearly trying to intimidate the ex in front of her. Kara had never seen this side of her friend and she couldn’t decide how she felt about being used by the brunette to make someone jealous. So Kara decided to sit back and enjoy the closeness for now. 

“Well, um… no,” Claire tried to look at anyone but at the couple in front of her and stuttered through a response, “I guess with concentrating on my career and after everything with… well, um… I haven’t really been focused on the relationship part of my life-” 

“Funny because you seemed so hellbent on being with Max,” Aster’s passive aggressive mask slipped, “What happened to living life with your prince charming?” 

“He was… you know he…” Claire sighed and looked at the brunette in the eyes, “You know that was a mistake…. I….” Claire trailed off and a soft melody started filling up Kara’s ears.  _ When I was young I thought the world of you _ … Ofcourse singing would start at the worst possible time... _ You were all that I wanted then _ . Claire mentally-singing was seriously not only hindering Kara’s ability to keep up with the conversation but was confusing Kara’s emotions towards the woman even more.  _ It faded & I never saw you again…  _ This was the blonde that broke her friend/date’s heart. She was the reason Aster felt like she wasn’t good enough and Kara should by all accounts hate her…  _ But I won’t forget the love we had…  _ and yet, Kara just felt sorry for her. 

Aster shrugged, letting a couple more beats of silence pass them by before speaking up again, “So, what brings you to National City?” 

“Work. I um… got a job at a law firm here. Just started two days ago and I’ve been trying out the coffee shops because… well you know…”  _ Come to me now, Don’t let me go, Stay by my side. _

“Congrats. Looks like you’re achieving exactly what you were planning to. I’m happy for you. I’m sure your mom is too,” Aster said in a neutral expression that seemed to hurt Claire more than the previously aggressive comments did. 

“My mom and I aren’t… we aren’t exactly on the best of terms right now…” 

“Really?” Aster sounded worried and Kara swore she saw the brunette start to reach out to comfort the woman in front of her before she composed herself, “Funny, coming from Miss Perfect. Like you haven’t dedicated your entire life to pleasing that woman,” Aster rolled her eyes, a stone-cold expression on her face and Kara decided she didn’t like this side of her friend one bit. It reminded her too much of a particular CEO. 

“I… I came out to her. That’s part of why I moved to National City, she kicked me out…” Claire shifted in her seat again.  _ Don’t let me go, Stay with me still , I’ve missed you so,  _ “I… I know I have no right to say this but I do miss you Aster.”

The melancholy song Claire was singing was abruptly interrupted by the sound of guitars. Suddenly, the entire coffee shop seemed to be stuck in slow motion and Kara watched as Aster stood up on the table and started to shout.  _ I don't care enough to miss you after all the shit we've been through- My heart's comatose, comatose!  _ Kara knew this was all in her head… or rather the song was coming from her friend’s heart or however this stupid power worked- but she couldn’t help but look around to see if anyone else was seeing the pure anger dripping off Aster’s body at that moment.  _ You were my best friend, now you're dead to me, said you'd become my worst memory. You played the victim in reality you never were!  _ The brunette jumped down from the table, and started to stalk around the coffee shop, singing her pain and throwing chairs across the room.  _ Straight coats and empty cabinets, Ashes from all the mess you left, New lease without you- I confess that I'm happy you're gone!  _ She didn’t know the full side of the mess of a relationship between her friend and Claire but she was really starting to wish she knew the details.  _ I don't care enough to miss you, after all the shit we've been through- My heart's comatose, comatose!  _ Aster was never an angry person and this side of her was really starting to scare Kara.  _ I don't care enough to miss you, after all the shit we've been through- My heart's comatose, comatose!  _ The Kryptonian knew that in her heart, Aster was a sweet person who was aching at the loss of her ex and would’ve expected a sad song from her. This anger confused Kara more than anything, just like her own best friend’s anger had confused her so long ago.  _ So used to pain that it's my remedy. Easy to hate, I gave you everything. Funny that you're the one that ran away- You left me first!  _ Aster was most definitely not singing to Kara but it was hard not to take her words to heart when she could easily imagine a certain green-eyed woman singing the same words to her.  _ You wasted all my fucking time, were never really in my life. You were further than I could imagine- I loved you, but fuck you!  _

Needless to say, Kara really wished she had left the second Claire approached them. 

  
  


* * *

“Don’t look at me like that Alex! We said we’d reschedule to next week its not like I’m ditching her,” Kara had just finished telling her sister, who was busy sticking needles in her, the crazy day she had and how she and Aster agreed to reschedule the date.

“Okay okay, I’m just making sure. The whole thing just sounded… intense. I’m just making sure you’re not-”

“Self-sabotaging? I’m not! I’ve been looking forward to this for a while. Why would I do that?” Kara scoffed. 

“I don’t know Kara, you tell me. I mean you haven’t dated for a while and you just told me how angry Aster got and how it reminded you of Lena and the whole situation seems... messy. I’m just trying to look out for you. Make sure you’re thinking straight,” 

“I don’t think there’s anything straight about any of this drama,” Kara laughed as the older danvers gave her a small punch on the shoulder. “Haven’t you done all of these tests before? I thought we agreed no more needles!” 

“For a superhero you’re oddly afraid of something as tiny as a needle Kara,” Alex rolled her eyes, laughing as she stuck another needle in her sister. 

“I’m not afraid,” the blonde rolled her eyes back, “It’s just annoying!” 

“We are conducting different tests this time to see if we can shock your kryptonian DNA from activating. Your cells aren’t absorbing the sunlight like they usually do so I just need a few samples for testing. I was going to wait till tomorrow but you were the one who came over here-”

“Yeah! To see my awesome older sister not to get stabbed a bajillion times!” 

“So dramatic,” Alex rolled her eyes for the fifth time that day before shaking her head, walking out of the DEO room and back in. 

“Did you say we?” Kara questioned. 

“What?” 

“We. You said ‘WE are conducting blah blah blah.’ And here I thought you were lone-wolfing this thing, you know, with your head scientist not knowing what to do and you not wanting all of the DEO to know Supergirl was out of commission.”

“Yeah well I found a new lab partner and we’ve been making some progress,” Alex attached electrode pads onto the superhero’s arms as she explained, “Different tests and a different approach.”

“Is Kelly your new science partner?” Kara asked, confused. 

“What? No she has a lot of things to do with her therapy job already. Why?” 

“I saw her in your lab room before coming in here,” Kara wiggled her eyebrows, making a ridiculous face that prompted the older Danvers to slap her on the shoulder. 

“My fiance just came to drop off food” Alex smiled, while the blonde ‘awww’ed’, causing the former to blush red. 

Kara smiled, “You two are so cute.”

“Okay, now I need you to lay back and close your eyes while I run a couple more tests okay? I’ll be right on the other side of the two-way mirror monitoring everything,” Alex gestured at the giant glass wall before kissing the younger danvers on the forehead, “If at any point you need me or want the tests to stop let me know.” 

Kara gave her a thumbs up and laid back down to close her eyes. The door creaked open and a soft piano started flooding her head.  _ Little do you know how I'm breaking while you fall asleep.  _ She couldn’t help but groan- the superhero was tired of hearing all the songs today and she wasn’t particularly interested in listening in on a random DEO agent’s feelings.  _ Little do you know, I'm still haunted by the memories.  _ Kara squeezed her eyes shut, trying to drown out the pretty voice.  _ Little do you know, I'm trying to pick myself up piece by piece.  _ The voice was so soft, so haunting that goosebumps creeped up the superhero’s arms.  _ Little do you know I need a little more time.  _ She couldn’t help but feel that it was Lena’s voice singing to her.  _ Underneath it all I'm held captive by the hole inside.  _ After spending the day dealing with drama between her date and her ex, Kara chalked it up to wishful thinking...  _ I've been holding back for the fear that you might change your mind....  _ Well that or useless pining for someone who clearly didn’t want her and she didn’t want to be the Claire to Lena’s Aster.  _ I'm ready to forgive you, but forgetting is a harder fight.  _ Did that even make sense? Kara shook her head, trying to clear her thoughts.  _ Little do you know I need a little more time.  _ She just needed this day to end already. 

  
  


* * *

Kara had been looking forward to going to bed ever since the mess she had to deal with at the coffee shop but now that she was finally in bed, she couldn’t sleep. After an hour of trying to get comfortable and failing horribly, she let out an angry groan and got out of bed to put on a tank top and yoga pants. Now that she couldn’t fly, she realized running was the next best thing. She had a love-hate relationship with exercising as a human, but anything beats lying awake all night, waiting for the darkness to claim her. 

The kryptonian stepped out into the cool city breeze, the familiarity of the lights busy streets already putting her at ease. She started out with a comfortable jog, putting in her headphones and blasting her workout playlist. She let the music guide her, her lungs soon starting to burn, the wind rushing through her hair, her legs aching, her muscles heating up her body like she was flying towards the sun… a feeling close to freedom. 

All in all, Kara felt like she was on top of the world. That is, until twenty one songs later, she tripped over a random rock, causing her body to hurl straight into the stranger in front of her. 

“Oh my Rao, I’m so so sorry!” The ex-reporter scrambled to get off the woman she completely tackled, apologizing and trying to help her up, “I wasn’t looking where I was going and totally tripped on something back there and I didn’t mean to just completely-”

The woman cut Kara off before she could continue her rant, “Well, I was hoping to run into you at some point during my visit to National City but I must confess I was not expecting you to literally run into me Kiera…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it took so long to upload- Life's been crazy but I can't thank yall enough for all the support.  
> Also I just saw how many comments this has and I think it'd be hilarious if it stayed at 69.
> 
> Many of you have been asking for the songs I've used and you can find them all in this mess of a playlist that I'm using to write this- https://open.spotify.com/user/nike%2311/playlist/6KYFGhvVrEsBJjNvUc02om?si=FjfV2_jBS5aTtc3LDUB0xw


	10. Kara's Extraordinary Mentor

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _"...I see you in the dark_   
>  _At the dawn of something new..."_

“Ms. Grant?” Kara blinked a couple times, trying to make sure she wasn’t seeing things.

“The one and only,” the older woman brushed off the dirt on her blouse and gave the ex-reporter a sideways look, “You would think that after so many years you’d learn to be less clumsy. Especially with those superhero reflexes. Really, I expect better out of you.”

The comment shocked the kryptonian to say the least and she could barely stutter out a response, “A- a superhero? Me? What, no pffft. I’m just, you know, the same ol’ boring little Kara Danvers.” Needless to say, the finger guns and the nervously tapping foot did not help convince the White House press secretary of the lie. 

“Oh, please. It’s been long since we last had a chat and I would much rather talk about all the things we need to discuss instead of wasting minutes arguing about something we both know to be true. Besides, even if you were simply Kara Danvers and not Supergirl you would hardly be categorized as boring anymore Ms. Pulitzer Prize Winner. Clumsy? Yes. Oblivious? Yes. Hideous sense of fashion? Yes. Boring? Hardly... Do walk with me though,” Cat took a couple steps before Kara snapped out of her initial shock and shuffled awkwardly to her former boss’s side. 

“So, Miss Grant. How’s the White House?” the superhero awkwardly started, not knowing how to even begin to approach the topic of her former boss knowing her secret identity. 

“Well it is a house and it is white and so are most of the people who work there with their questionable intellect but, Kiera, I did not come all this way to talk about my job with the President.”

“Right!” Kara walked awkwardly, fiddling with her glasses. When the other woman didn’t expand, she spoke up again, awkwardly trying to get a conversation going, “I didn’t know you owned a publishing house! That is so cool actually I have a friend who-” 

“Aster, yes. A particularly bright woman I am excited to work with but I am here originally to talk to you not her. Though the connection was a happy coincidence I admit. What with all of the multiverse dying and the worlds merging and you think I want to talk about my multinational publishing company? Priorities, Kiera- have I taught you nothing?” 

Kara stopped walking again, shaking her head in disbelief. Cat Grant, the old CEO of CatCo and overall a badass woman, was here in front of her telling her she not only knew of her secret identity but also of Crisis? Did she hit her head that hard when she fell? 

Cat stopped walking and saw the ex-reporter frozen in place behind her. With an exasperated sigh, she sat at the nearest bench and gestured to the superhero to join her. Kara hesitated for a couple moments before joining the older woman on the bench. She didn’t know why she was nervous but it was like she suddenly time traveled back to the first time she met Cat Grant as a wide-eyed assistant who hadn’t found her place in the world yet. If the ex-reporter was honest even after all those years, after all the times Supergirl had saved the world and the time Kara Danvers won the Pulitzer, she still wasn’t so sure she had found her place in the world. 

“I did want to do this over a nice hot cup of coffee and with comfier seats but I guess this is just a good as time as any...” Cat started slowly, sensing the superhero’s nervous energy and deciding to not torture her any longer, “Hm where to start? I was sitting through a mind-numbing meeting in a room full of idiots when suddenly I had this splitting headache. And, this is me holding back on the dramatics, I’d say it was the equivalent of a hundred jolts of lightning being bottled up inside my brain. It was a strange time, really, but long story short over the course of a couple months, I started getting more splitting headaches accompanied with these vivid dreams, which I now realize were memories, and when you and Lena Luthor showed up in the papers having taken down that bald psycho and levia-whatever I started to put two and two together and found myself back here. Needless to say, tracking down Hank Hanshaw and convincing him to restore my memory was not hard but now here we are with my brain constantly trying to wrap itself around reality and, curiously enough, still being able to fathom the mess of the multiverse far better than the mess you’ve made of your own life without me Kiera. I have to say-”

“The- what?” Kara sputtered, breaking off the older woman’s train of thought in an indignant tone, “I- mess? Ms. Grant I don’t- ha  mess . That’s just… no. No the world is possibly still a mess. But me? I’m fine! Pfft mess-” 

“And I’d appreciate it if you didn’t try to undermine my intelligence by lying to me Supergirl. Lying is not one of your superpowers,” Cat interjected in a stern tone that quieted Kara’s rambling, “Now I don’t care about the details, as you know, I am an incredibly busy woman and I wouldn’t want to keep you from… things. So here it is and I will give it to you straight. You are an incredible, badass woman who has not only saved me countless times but has inspired me to be this better version of myself. In the original Earth, and in this one but not as much I guess, you were the one who taught me how to hope- how to  live-  again. Your constant faith in the goodness life has to offer and constant need to hope for the best despite the terrible things you have been through makes you the strongest person I have ever met. At first, I didn’t understand why you were wasting your time in a place like CatCo when there were people in need of you 24/7 but I have seen you, Kara. I have seen you and your light and the love you have to share with the world as a talented reporter as well as a superhero and it is so goddamn inspiring. Your actions after the Luthor/Leviathon mess has… disappointed me to say the least. Because I know you are better. I may not know about everything you have gone through but I do know you do not belong in a no-name cafe wasting your time making coffee when you should be out there in the world making a difference. It’s time to stop the moping and get after what you want. It’s time to-”

“But what if I don’t know what I want?” Kara added so quietly it was a wonder Cat even heard her, “Everyone seems better off without me in the mess and I-”

“No.” The older woman moved closer to put a hand on the superhero’s shoulder. Cat opened her mouth to speak again but instead, music filled Kara’s ears and,for the first time ever, she heard the infamous Cat Grant sing.  _ I see you when you hide and when you lie, it's no surprise. I see you when run from the light within your eyes. I see you when you think that I don't notice all those scars. I see you _

_ Yes, I see you.  _ Her voice really was lovely and Kara wondered if she was a good singer in real life or if it was a symptom of her weird powers to make everyone sound like a musical prodigy.  _ I'm alone with you, you're alone with me. What a mess you've made of everything.  _ Kara felt her eyes burning and had to blink back tears. The look of such sincerity and the soft voice struck a chord in the superhero.  _ I'm alone with you, you're alone with me. And I'm hoping that you will see yourself like I see you…  _ The singing stopped almost as abruptly as it began. Cat returned to using her monotone speaking voice before Kara could even wrap her head around the fact that she heard her old boss sing. “You are a hero, Kara. You should start acting like it. Go get your job back. Go get your identity back. Then, go get your girl.” 

“My girl?” Kara tilted her head in confusion. 

Cat just stood up, dusting off her pants, “It is time for me to go,” she looked over the superhero’s shoulder where a warm sun was starting to peak out of the horizon, painting the city in wondrous orange and pink, and she took a deep breath, “I want us to meet again, ideally before I leave or when I come back to visit in three months.” 

Kara wasn’t ready for her to leave yet. It was nice seeing an old friend and she didn’t realize how much she missed Cat’s advice. Nevertheless, she blinked back the tears that kept threatening to spill, not wanting to show any weakness in front of her role model. 

“You can let me know about how awful that Andrea woman is as a CEO of my media empire and give me updates on your wreck of a love life then. Don’t be afraid to go after what you want, Kiera. You deserve all of it- the success, the love, the happiness. If it wasn’t for you I wouldn’t have had those last two things in my life and I intend to be here to make sure you get the bright, disgustingly beautiful epilogue you deserve.” 

Kara stood up and Cat unexpectedly pulled her in for a hug. The older woman had thrown a lot of information at her and the brief moments she spent with her had been an absolute rollercoaster of emotions but the hug itself had a weirdly calming effect on her.  _ I see you when you're down and depressed, just a mess.  _ Cat even squeezed her a little tighter as if to let her know that everything would be okay and that she was there for her and Kara felt her body start to relax at the notion.  _ I see you when you cry, when you're shy, when you want to die.  _ Slowly, Cat peeled away, giving the younger blonde a reassuring smile.  _ I see you when you smile. It takes a while, at least you're here. I see you. Yes, I see you.  _ Kara couldn’t help but smile back, suddenly feeling lighter than she had felt in a while. 

She watched Cat walk away and decided to stay ten minutes longer to just sit and enjoy the sunrise. She used to love flying over the city to watch the sun make its way into the sky, Earth’s literal ball of hope gifting everyone a new day. It was silly but today, Kara felt like the universe was gifting her a new day, giving her a chance at a new beginning, specifically. With a deep breath and a newfound sense of purpose, she made her way back to the apartment, ready, for the first time in a long time, to take on whatever the day had in store for her. 

* * *

“That’s amazing news! I’m so proud of you Kara!” Alex jumped to hug her sister in excitement. 

“You really think it's a good idea?” Kara asked nervously. When she told her sister about her meeting with Cat, she didn’t expect Alex to be so completely on board with getting back to working at CatCo. If she was being honest, Kara hoped her sister would be hesitant to let her go back to reporting. She was nervous and was looking for any sign that getting her old job back was a bad idea. 

“Ofcourse! I think it's a perfect idea Kara! You love writing and reporting and I think CatCo deserves someone who’ll fight for real content. It deserves someone as talented as you who actually gives a fuck about something more than the clickbait crap they’ve been pushing.” 

“Wow I didn’t know you felt so… strongly about CatCo Alex,” Kara furrowed her eyebrows. 

“Sorry I’ve just- had a rough morning,” Alex massaged her forehead as Kara pulled her sister in for another hug. 

“Wanna talk about it?” Kara let her sister go, looking her in the eyes to make sure she was okay. Her older sister had spent so much of her life worried about the blonde, protecting her and shifting her life around to give her so much of her time that Kara had been feeling guilty every time she unloaded on her. Even though Alex assured her everytime she loved talking to her and spending time with her, Kara couldn’t help but feel guilty after every conversation they had that revolved around herself. It was one of the reasons why she was still hesitant to tell her about the whole musicals-in-her-head thing, she knew her sister would stress out about it and she already had a lot on her plate trying to figure out why her Kryptonian powers weren’t working while simultaneously running the DEO. “Do you need me to punch someone for you?” 

“You don’t have your superpowers Kara you can’t just punch things into the air,” Alex shook her head in amusement. 

“I don’t need superpowers to break someone’s nose Alex,” she rolled her eyes and put her hands on her hips in a classic Supergirl stance. 

“Well you can’t punch every problem away hotshot,” Alex laughed and lightly punched her sister in the shoulder. 

“Okay, well did something happen at the DEO? An alien attack?” the Kryptonian dropped her goofy smile and immediately became concerned. She was torn with not having her powers lately- on one hand the freedom of being human and being able to make her own choices was nice but on the other hand she hated the guilty feeling she’d get every time she wasn’t there to help people as Supergirl. 

“No! No, nothing like that. Well, kind of still has to do with the craziness at the DEO” Alex walked across the room and into the kitchen before reemerging with two beers in her hand, “Apparently there have been CatCo reporters that have pinged the DEO’s location and we’re currently trying to fix the mess. But you don’t need to worry yourself over it. We have really good hackers on our side that have been keeping them running in circles- I just don’t know why CatCo of all places would even bother with something like this! Or who at a news place even has the skills. I mean, there was Winn but he was definitely the exception so at first, we thought it might be Leviathan or some other big bad disguising themselves as a CatCo reporter but we just don’t know for sure. I mean it wouldn’t make sense for it to be Leviathan because they were completely wiped out so then we thought maybe Andrea was still somehow working for them? I don’t know- whole thing is a fucking mess.”

“I mean, ‘Secret Government Alien Department’ could be a good article but how did she even find out about it all? It’s not like Andrea to care about something other than fluff pieces or ‘Top Ten things celebrities wore this week’ articles” Kara commented, rolling her eyes. Running into Cat Grant made her realize even more how much she hated the current CEO of CatCo. “Rao, some days I just wish Lena had never sold the company to the likes of her.” 

Alex raised an eyebrow and took another sip of her drink, decidedly choosing not to comment when Kara took the beer from the older Danver’s hands and chugged the rest of the bottle. “Well, there’s no need for you to worry about all that. You’ll have plenty of time hating the woman when you go get your job back and have to deal with her everyday,” The Danvers sisters looked at each other in silence before breaking out in laughter. 

“Speaking of which, I should go do that now,” Kara looked at her watch and started gathering her things.

“So what did Aster say about you going back to reporting?” the redhead wiggled her eyebrows suggestively. When the blonde hesitated in her answer, she threw her hands in the air in realization, “You didn’t tell her?!” 

“To be fair,” Kara shifted between her feet, “I just didn’t have the time. I mean, I ran into Cat a couple hours ago and you’re the first one I’ve talked to about this! But I’m going to tell her… tonight.” 

“Tonight?” Alex furrowed her eyebrows in confusion before mouthing an ‘ohhhh’, “You’re date? That’s tonight?! Didn’t you say you rescheduled to next week?” 

“Well, it's not an OFFICIAL official date, we’re just hanging out. After the craziness with her ex showing up I just wanted to make sure everything was okay and she’s been… off in her texts and I haven’t seen her in a while. It will be the first time we get dinner instead of lunch but no not an actual date…” 

“If you say so…” Alex squinted her eyes suspiciously. She paused for a minute before asking, “Hey Kara? Can I ask you something?” 

“Ofcourse you know you can ask me anything Alex.” 

“Are you okay?” 

“What?” The blonde paused her movements, tilting her head and giving the older Danvers her attention. 

“Like I know you’re not overall and I can see you getting better and I don’t want to pry too much but it's just… even with all of our talks I feel like… what I mean to say is I love Aster and you two would be so good together but I don’t want to make it seem like I’ve been pushing you into a relationship with her. I realized that I actually did…push a little too hard when it came to William because I thought that you were too afraid to get out and date again and didn’t realize you had… feelings for Lena. And I know you don’t like talking about her but I just wanted to make sure you were...okay in that sense.” It wasn’t often her tough sister sounded unsure of her words and the hesitation between each word the redheaded woman spoke made Kara want to take the topic seriously and not brush it off like she had been doing lately. 

“I still miss her,” she whispered so softly and earnestly it shocked the superhero herself, “It hurts more knowing she’s still here in the same city and I could drop by her office like I used to but things are so awful between us the thought of her just hurts. That’s part of why I still don’t know if going back to CatCo is the right thing for me. I mean I know it's a little silly but a part of me deep down always thought maybe she bought the company for me… which is crazy- I know! Because she’s a business woman and no one does that for a friend...but when she sold it the only thought in my head was that she didn’t like me as a friend anymore and it scared me. And now she hates me and its all my fault but the thing is even in all the realities Myx showed me it was like we were never meant to be friends let alone anything more and it hurts everyday to think about. And everything is so unclear- But one thing I know is I do like Aster. And I like spending time with her and I’m not just using her to get over any feelings I have for Lena because I don’t know if I’ll ever get over it all but I’m taking my shot I guess.” 

“I’m proud of you Kara,” the older Danvers smiled, “Just remember- go with blue!” 

Kara laughed, “It’s not an official date yet!” 

“Mhm sure,” Alex folded her arms and laughed,

“Hey Alex?” 

“Yeah?”

“I’m really glad you’re my sister,” the Kryptonian gave a soft smile. 

“I’m really glad you’re my sister too,” the redheaded woman smiled back, pulling her in for a hug. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it took so long to update- turns out its hard to write when your only computer breaks and COVID has all the libraries in your area shut down...


	11. Kara's Extraordinary Not-Date Pt.1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _".... I've been doin' things I shouldn't do_   
>  _  
>  Overthinkin'   
>  ___   
>  I don't know who I am without you..."   
> 

“Are you sure it's a good idea? I mean, I haven’t written anything since that piece that won me the Pulitzer and what if everything I write now is going to be horrible?” Kara had been nervous about getting dinner with Aster, especially when the woman showed up with her hair down wearing a yellow button-up shirt that fit her body perfectly and made the superhero feel under-dressed in her purple sweater, but turns out they easily slipped right back in to their normal conversation, with Aster talking about how her book has been coming along and now the two discussing Kara’s return to the world of reporting. 

“Kara you are too talented to be working at a tiny cafe! Don’t get me wrong, work will be miserable without you there but I know you are going to be amazing. You were practically born to be a reporter!” 

The comment should’ve made the Kryptonian smile but Kara couldn’t help but feel a tiny bit guilty- she wanted to tell Aster that she wasn’t born to be a reporter because on Krypton, she would have been a scientist. She wanted to tell her how, sure, she loved reporting, but that there was this huge part of her that loved being out there saving people. She wanted to tell her about her childhood and her dead planet and everything she missed about but how Earth had since become her home. But she had yet to tell her of her superhero identity and she couldn’t help but think back to how horribly not telling her best friend her secret worked out the last time. Was she making a mistake by keeping Supergirl a secret this time? Should she tell the brunette? Was she even a superhero anymore without her powers though? She shook her head, she didn’t have time for her thoughts to start spiraling. 

“Well, its a good thing you won’t have to work there for long with your book getting published! Then I’ll just introduce myself as ‘Kara Danvers, reporter at CatCo and friend of the infamous Aster Padilla,” Kara winked causing the burnette to throw her head back in laughter. Before she could admire the woman’s laugh, Aster abruptly stopped laughing, her body tensing and her eyebrows scrunching together in concern. “Are you okay? What’s wrong?” As soon as Kara asked the question, she heard a faint guitar start playing in her head.

When Aster opened her mouth, all that came out was song…  _ I don't see you, You're not in every window I look through.  _ She wasn’t singing at Kara, that much was clear….  _ And I don't miss you, You're not in every single thing I do…  _ the Kryptonian turned around, trying to spot the receiver of the song…  _ I don't think we're meant to be and you are not the missing piece. I won't hear it, Whenever anybody says your name…  _ A couple tables away, she spotted a familiar blonde sitting with another woman, laughing at something she said. What was her name again?…  _ And I won't feel it, Even when I'm burstin' into flames…  _ Claire? What was she doing here? Kara fought the flare of jealousy that threatened to ruin her ‘Not Date’...  _ I don't regret the day I left. I don't believe that I was blessed…  _ Afterall, the brunette was literally singing about how she didn’t miss her ex so she had nothing to worry about. With that thought, Kara turned around to face the singing Aster….  _ I'm probably lyin' to myself, again…  _

__ Before Kara had a chance to say anything, a different voice flooded her mind, seemingly continuing the same song the brunette had abruptly stopped singing… _ I'm alone in my head, looking for love in a stranger's bed….  _ The superhero turned back around with a sigh...  _ But I don't think I'll find it, 'Cause only you could fill this empty space… _ Claire was apparently dancing on the top of her dinner table, completely ignoring her own date and singing right at Kara’s own date instead…  _ I wanna tell all my friends, but I don't think they would understand…  _ the reporter stood up from her seat, walking towards the singing blonde woman…  _ It's somethin' I've decided, 'Cause only you could fill this empty space…  _ Before she could go up to Claire’s table, she heard Aster’s voice join in to duet the song that was becoming increasingly annoying for the Kryptonian….  _ Space, space. This empty space. Space, space…  _ Kara squeezed her hands on her ears to block out the song as best as she could, trying to ignore the way the two women’s voices seemed to blend together so effortlessly….  _ 'Cause only you could fill this empty space…  _ she shuffled to the bathroom as fast as she could and locked herself in a stall, her hands still over her ears as she tried to calm her breathing. 

Not for the first time, Kara cursed her new musical powers. All she wanted was one normal dinner with the girl she liked and instead she got to be a third-wheel on the duet between her and the ex that broke her heart. 

“Kara? Is that you? Are you okay?” A voice and a knock on her stall stopped her from getting sucked into a pit of self-despair. 

“Yeah, I’m okay,” Kara whispered, flinching at how small her voice sounded before clearing her throat, “I’m good.” She stood up and opened the door to come face to face with- “Ms.Rojas? I mean- um... Andrea? What are you- why are you here?” 

“Just making sure you’re okay. You cut in front of me and rushed into the stall which is not only rude but also severely out of character,” the older woman folded her arms in her CEO stance. 

“I’’m- uh good. Sorry about that,” the blonde tried to step to the side to let her former boss use the toilet but, to her surprise, the woman just grabbed onto her shoulders. 

“How have you been?” Andrea asked in a tone that seemed uncharacteristically earnest.

“Don’t take this the wrong way but… are you drunk?” Kara scrunched her nose as she smelled the alcohol in the woman’s breath, finally realizing why the woman was being so nice. Not knowing what to say when Andrea didn’t respond, she continued, “I’ve been good… um I mean- actually I was going to come see you tomorrow about-” 

“Returning to CatCo?” The businesswoman interjected, “Yes come in for work tomorrow.” 

Kara shook her head- this was by far the most bizarre conversation she’s had with her boss, “I- oh okay! I thought you hated having me as a reporter.. I mean, I don't necessarily make your life easy and I thought we hated each other and-” 

“Shhh Kara you’re giving me a headache,” the brunette grabbed her finally let go of the reporter’s shoulders and instead massaged her own temple. 

“Is everything okay?” Kara asked, shifting awkwardly as her seemingly drunk boss blocked her way out of the stall and didn’t seem to register the strangeness of their conversation. 

“Why doesn’t she love me back? You’d think that after all this time, she’d know right? Noone is THAT oblivious to love right? Haven’t I given her enough signs? Noone goes out to a fancy dinner every other day just to discuss business deals! How can she not even know those were dates? Why doesn’t she notice me?” Kara raised her eyebrows, realizing that A) Andrea Rojas was not as straight as she thought (then again, her gaydar wasn’t exactly the best- she was surprised when her own sister came out to her), B) She was here, drunk, because her date seemed to be going really badly and if Kara wanted to get back to her dinner, she was probably stuck playing the voice of comfort, and C) if Kara didn’t have personal-professional boundaries or hate the woman for turning a big newspaper into clickbait idiocracy, she would definitely have a crush on the woman. The CEO looked particularly stunning in a tight blue dress that hugged all her curves and the blonde wondered how whoever Andrea’s mystery woman was missed the fact that they were on a date. 

“Hey, you look stunning. If your date can’t see that, she’s blind and it's her loss,” Kara tried to comfort her but instead, the businesswoman started to tear up, her mascara starting to run down her face, causing the alien to panic, “No no no I’m sorry.. Please don’t- oh okay you’re crying harder now.. I’m so sorry, please just tell me what to say! Don’t cry!” 

Needless to say, the two women were in the bathroom for a while before they both fixed themselves enough to rejoin their dates. 

* * *

“Oh… that’s strange,” Aster forced a laugh at Kara’s explanation for why she disappeared for so long in the bathroom, “I can’t even imagine someone like Andrea Rojas crying. She’s like a stone-cold badass….” 

Kara just shrugged; trying to engage in the conversation was hard when all she heard was her boss singing a rock song the Kryptonian wasn’t familiar with in her head…  _ Memories in the night that I can’t shake, Polaroid’s in my bed, reflecting better days. Fell for you that summer on the east coast. Up till dawn just doin what we want…  _ First, the drunk conversation, then the crying, and now hearing her boss sing a song about her unrequited love? It was all a little too much for Kara…  _ Up all night, just talking bout our future. And if we run, we’ll have each other’s back. Though many come and go, well it’s just not the same comfort you’ll never know. Baby, you’re not to blame, I shoulda let you know.  _

“...What man would be that awesome enough to make someone so accomplished like her cry and lament like that?” Aster kept rambling questions aloud, “I can’t even imagine her loving someone- Like not to say powerful women can’t love or anything that’s- ohmygod I don’t mean to be so unfeminist…” 

Kara was getting a migraine from the craziness the night had put her through and she tried to listen to the brunette in front of her but couldn’t help but Andrea’s singing was too distracting…  _ I remember the way you said my name and how your hands started to shake. Your face was melting in the rain, whoa oh. Leaning up the hood against my car, Speaking softly in the night. Under barely visible stars, under barely visible stars. Stuck on you, that summer on the east coast. Up till dawn, thinking I was wrong…  _

__ As Aster’s rambling came to an end, the two women stood up and made their way towards the door when suddenly she came to a complete stop, her mouth falling open.  _ Why can’t I erase you? I tried to replace you, but I’m hearing you in every song.  _ At first, Kara fought the urge to roll her eyes, thinking the other woman was reacting to her ex being on a date with someone else.  _ Though many come and go, well it’s just not the same comfort you’ll never know.  _ Aster tapped the blonde’s shoulders and the superhero finally turned around to look at what had her friend so speechless, only to do a double take herself. 

Kara suddenly felt like cold water had been dumped on her, her heart beating so loudly it blocked the sound of Andrea’s singing as she found herself starting to shake slightly. 

Aster, despite trying to whisper, practically shouted so loud the tables closest to them turned to give them a dirty look, “You didn’t tell me THE Andrea Rojas’s unrequited love was THE Lena Luthor!” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been working on this chapter with no progress for the past week so I decided to just break it up into two parts instead. Sorry its a short update but the story will (finally) start picking up soon. Thank you guys for all the love.  
> Stay safe and Stay wild <3


	12. Kara’s Extraordinary Not-Date Pt.2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  _"Yeah, I'm good, yeah I'm fine_  
>  I don't wake up feelin' like I wanna die, no  
> 'Cause I'm thrivin' now..."

Kara was frozen in place, blinking slowly as her brain tried to process the scene in front of her. Lena was wearing a stunning evergreen suit, her hair up in a ponytail in a way that highlighted her best features, sitting in a booth with a drunk Andrea Rojas who was shamelessly flirting with the woman beside her. Kara unconsciously clenched and unclenched her fists several times, thanking Rao she didn’t have her powers because she was sure that if she did, she’d accidentally activate her laser vision and this restaurant would suffer as collateral damage. 

  


“We should… we should go,” Kara whispered, shaky and unsure- so quiet that even the blonde herself didn’t recognize her own voice. She felt Aster’s worried hand squeeze her shoulder and murmur something that sounded like ‘are you okay’ but the Kryptonian found herself just repeating the same words while her body stayed suspended in time, “We should go…” 

  


A moment passed and then another. Finally, Kara found the energy to move her body just enough to turn to face Aster and nod at whatever the woman was saying, though her mind was still preoccupied with the image of her former best friend cuddled up next to her boss. She felt sick to her stomach, her legs suddenly heavy, and Kara was ready for this trainwreck of a night to finally be over. Right before she turned around to leave, Lena stood up, locking eyes with the blonde, and Kara was once again frozen in place. Neither woman moved from their spots, and once again, time slowed to a standstill. 

  


Lena looked good, Kara thought. But then again, Lena Luthor always looked good. Still, there was something about her outfit tonight that had the CEO look absolutely stunning. No- Kara shook her head as she realized- it wasn’t the outfit… it was the fact that Lena looked… happy. 

Kara suddenly felt like she was about to throw up her entire dinner, and fought the urge to run away. 

  


“Hey, are you okay?” Aster asked, rubbing the reporter’s back. 

  


Kara choked out a weak, “Yeah”, but made no motion to move. She knew she should be happy that Lena looked happy, but it just made the superhero feel sick. 

  


Lena’s face immediately slipped into her CEO mask and finally broke eye contact with the blonde. She seemed to whisper something to Andrea before walking towards them and Kara wondered if anyone else could hear just how loud her heart was beating right now. Aster continued rubbing soothing circles on her back but it did nothing to stop the panic that was taking over the superhero’s body and rising up her throat. 

Why was Lena walking over to her? Should she run? Should she stay? What do you say to someone who used to be your closest friend until you broke their trust and ruined everything? Last time they talked, Lena was so… no, Kara thought. No, she will not let herself overthink the situation based on whatever happened last time and she will not let herself spiral in front of everyone. Deep breaths... Kelly gave her breathing exercises for moments like this. All she had to do was take deep breaths, try to control her heartbeat…. In…. And… out...in...and- fuck the deep breaths. Deep breaths were definitively NOT working. 

  


“Hi Kara,” Lena’s soft voice contradicted her rigid stance so completely that Kara had to blink a couple times to make sure she wasn’t dreaming. The CEO turned to Aster when Kara didn’t answer and offered her hand, “And Kara’s… friend?” 

  


“It is so good to meet you Ms. Luthor! I’m Aster…” Aster was completely starstruck, shaking Lena’s hand slightly too aggressively before the latter pulled away, leaving the blonde talking with her hands as she fumbled over her own words in excitement. In normal circumstances, the situation would’ve amused the superhero, but Kara couldn’t really concentrate on anything other than her ex-best friend in front of her. She only saw Lena and the way she pretended to be all sharp edges and thick skin. She saw the way Lena flinched, her shoulders tensing and her lips pressing together as if bracing herself whenever the word ‘Luthor’ came out of Aster’s mouth (though the blonde didn’t mean the word with any malice only as a reference to her name). She saw the way Lena kept her CEO mask on completely, nodding politely as she was being spoken to and rounding out all her vowels as she herself spoke with perfect sophistication.

  


Observing Lena made the superhero’s heart ache slightly- Lena deserved the world and she worked so hard to be good that she didn’t deserve all the hate associated with her last name. She deserved a genuine smile and confident words not flinching and tensing up at hearing her own last name. Kara didn’t know if she could ever forgive herself for the way she hurt the woman in front of her. Sure, they both made mistakes but treating Lena like a villain was the worst mistake she had ever made. Kara had genuinely thought calling her a villain to her face would snap her best friend out of the dark path she was venturing towards; she never imagined it’d push Lena further away and cause a never-ending rift between them. Suddenly, her emotions were too much for the blonde. Her anxiety came back full force and this time, her hands started shaking involuntarily and she had to fight the urge to turn around and run as a lump formed in the back of her throat.

  


Just as Kara was about to give in to the urge to run away, she was attacked with a hug from Andrea, who seemingly appeared out of nowhere. Before Kara could even process what was happening, she found herself at a table, sitting next to a still-starstruck Aster and across from a still-drunk Andrea who was sitting next to a still-breathtaking Lena who refused to make eye contact with the blonde. The superhero’s heart was torn- on one hand she was happy to see Lena again and it was nice to see her look so… at ease with herself? She saw the way the woman would lean into Andrea’s touches, how she’d let herself laugh freely in front of a stranger she just met, how she just seemed...happier. But on the other hand, Kara really despised the fact that she wasn’t the one those light smiles and genuine eye contact were directed towards. The superhero never hated herself more in that moment. 

  


“-and that’s where I met Andrea. Now don’t let her cool CEO personality fool you-she was a total goofball in boarding school and still is! In fact just the other day…” Lena’s voice sounded so melodic. The superhero didn’t even realize how much she missed hearing the raven-haired woman’s voice til just then. “-she loves swooping me up to fancy dates every so often I swear the owner was concerned we were trying to buy out his business! Though I do admit…” 

  


Did Lena like Andrea back? That was impossible- Andrea herself was just complaining to Kara about how oblivious Lena was to her feelings… besides, Lena would never date someone who betrayed her trust. No- Kara shook her head- no matter what happened between the two women in the original timeline, in this one Andrea had never betrayed Lena. But Lena knew about the original timeline, Lex made sure of that. That coupled with Lena’s own trust issues meant there was no way she had any feelings for Andrea… right? Then again, it all might be Kara’s wishful thinking because the way they were interacting- the casual touches, the gushy childhood stories, and the way they so easily completed each other's sentences (despite one of them being completely intoxicated)- told a completely different story.

  


Kara couldn’t figure out when the song started but she could tell it was Lena’s voice that finally pulled her out of her internal dialogue. She had never heard the melody before but had a suspicion it’d be stuck in her head for a while. 

  


Lena was still engrossed in a conversation with Aster and yet, somehow, she was telepathically singing to Kara….  _I just wanna say sorry, I have been oh so selfish. Livin' my life, not too involved in no one else's._ She had to resist the urge to reach across the table and yell at the CEO to tell her she had never been selfish; if anyone at the table was selfish, it was Kara herself.  _I guess I got too greedy, scared to love freely. Can't hold a conversation... _ Kara had been selfish when she kept her identity from Lena in the first place, she was the one responsible for adding to Lena’s trust issues.  _Yeah, I blamed it on my habitat, old habits that...Die hard, doin' anything to have some racks. _ Kara had been selfish when she kept her true feelings from Lena after that.  _Yeah, I'm good. Yeah, I'm fine. I don't wake up feelin' like I wanna die, no- _ And even now, a very selfish part of her couldn’t stop hurting at the fact that Lena was doing better without her- _'Cause I'm thrivin' now, I'm thrivin' now. Yeah, I'm thrivin' now, I'm thrivin' now. _ Kara shook her head and stood up. Her heart was hurting too much after tonight and she felt the same overwhelming urge to fly away.  _Yeah, I'm good, Yeah, I'm fine. I don't do the shit I used to do to survive, no- _ Cursing the fact that she didn’t have her powers, she stood up, ignoring the questioning glances from the other women at the table-  _'Cause I'm thrivin' now, I'm thrivin' now, Yeah, I'm thrivin' now- _ and just when she was about to run, a scream broke through the music in her head and the entire restaurant plunged into a deadly quietness.

  


* * *

  


  


Kara didn’t realize when she was pulled under the table in all the chaos. Her ears were ringing, black spots dancing in her vision as she struggled to breathe. Someone pulled her into a hug as her breathing leveled out enough to finally analyze her surroundings. 

A group of tall intruders dressed in all black and ski masks had charged into the restaurant, having shot the security, and were waving their machine guns in the air as everyone else crouched under the tables. They seemed to be looking for someone, Kara realized, as they peered under every table, steadily making their way around the restaurant. 

  


“We don’t wanna cause no trouble,” The tallest intruder shouted, the heavy accent sounding disturbingly familiar.

  


“As if they’re not already causing some,” Lena scoffed from somewhere behind Kara. The superhero couldn’t help but let out a smile despite the circumstances

  


“Just hand over the Luthor- we know she here- and we will be on our merry way without no harm done,” the man shot a couple of rounds into the air as if to highlight his point. 

  


The air around the restaurant suddenly seemed tense. Kara could feel Aster shaking beside her but noone dared to move. The superhero subconsciously moved closer to the front of the table they were hiding under to shield the women crouching behind her as they all held their breaths. Even amidst the tension, Kara half-expected a jab from Lena, a push for her Supergirl alter ego to save the day, but the raven-haired girl stayed silent. 

The criminals swept through more of the restaurant, getting closer and closer to their booth when the same man who spoke up before seemingly lost his patience. In one swift motion, he grabbed a woman from under the closest table and trapped her in a single-arm choke, a gun presse at her temple as she began to sob for help. 

“Imma be honest I aint got the time for this so Imma count to five before I blow her pretty little brains out. ONE…”

  


Kara held her breath, scrambling to pick up her phone to call Alex for help, knowing there was no way she could take on eight intruders in a hostage situation without her power.

  


“TWO!”

  


Her phone wasn’t in her pocket and Kara clenched her fists in disappointment, willing herself to think of anything she could do to help. 

  


“THREE!”   
  


A single tear of frustration rolled down the superhero’s cheek as she tried and failed to come up with a decent plan.

  


“FOUR-”   
  


“STOP! I’m here, let her go!” Before Kara could fathom what was going on, Lena had pushed her aside and stood up in clear view. The man threw the hostage on the floor and pointed his gun at the young Luthor as his people circled around her. 

  


Kara suddenly went on autopilot, “Lena, NO!”, standing up to shield the CEO. What happened next was a complete blur for the superhero- blue eyes meeting green, gunshots going off in unison, sirens closing in from outside the restaurant, more gunshots, some screaming and yelling and then, complete darkness...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For anyone who's still somehow reading this trainwreck of a story- I'm so sorry I completely dropped the ball on this fanfic. I had a massive writer's block that pretty much derailed all of my writing projects for months. Hopefully this New Year means I can get this fic and my other projects done now that I've semi-pulled myself out of this massive creative drought. I also didn't plan on this story being so long- hopefully the drama in this chapter kickstarts the supercorp moments I've been dying to write.


	13. Kara's Extraordinary Glitch Pt.1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _"I wonder if I saw your face again  
>  Would you be a stranger or would we be more than friends?  
> Would this be the beginning  
> Or the long and winding road that takes us all   
> The way around until the very bitter end?"_   
>    
> 

Kara woke with a start- her heart beating in her ears, her entire body covered in sweat. For a second, her memories from being stuck in a pod years ago came crashing back to her. The next second, she was reliving her chaotic restaurant date.  
“Lena!” She yelled out, her voice still hoarse. She shot up before she even fully processed where she was and winced in pain. When she finally looked down, she saw her entire torso covered in a long elastic bandage. She was hooked up to an IV and surrounded by several yellow sun lamps.  
  
The door swung open, revealing a frantic Alex who paced towards the superhero and immediately enveloped her in an awkward side-hug.  
  
“Ow ow okay I love you but that hurts,” Kara winced.  
  
“Sorry sorry-” Alex pulls away before making a strange face and lightly slapping her sister on the head- “No actually I’m not sorry- Kara what were you thinking?! You don’t have your powers right now you could’ve died! Do you know how worried we all were? How worried I was?! I thought I-”  
  
“I’m okay Alex I promise,” Kara interjected.  
  
“You almost weren’t…” Alex whispered and the room fell silent. The superhero tried to figure out the right words to say to her sister but they wouldn’t come to her. After a few moments of silence, the older sister moved to put extra pillows around the bed so that Kara could sit up without too much pain. Alex sat down near the foot of the bed and massaged the back of her neck before she finally decided to break the silence.  
  
“Lena is okay. I heard you yell for her when you woke up…”  
  
“Oh thank Rao,” the blonde whispered, letting out a breath she didn’t even know she was holding, “Is she… is she here? At the DEO?”  
  
Alex didn’t answer right away; she looked like she was struggling with something. Whatever her internal monologue was, she let out a sigh, slouched her shoulders, and faced the other woman before answering, “She’s here… but she- she needs some time..”  
  
  
“You talked to her?” the Kryptonian’s eyebrows shot up in surprise.  
  
“Something like that,” the sisters fell into silence again and Kara couldn’t help but feel there was something she wasn’t being told. She kept quiet though, realizing Alex was trying to work up the courage to ask a question, and simply nodded for her to continue. After a deep breath, Alex spoke up again, “Kara… you were out for three days. You lost so much blood… you were shot four times before the DEO got there. A fifth bullet was coming for you and… and the way everyone told the story, you could’ve... died if Lena hadn’t pushed you out of the way.”  
  
“Lena…” the superhero whispered guiltily.  
  
Alex reached for her sister’s hand. Whether to comfort her or to seek comfort herself she didn’t know. “Like I said, she’s okay. Took a bullet to her arm but everyone else left unharmed. But I just…well, if it wasn't for the sun lamps helping you heal slightly faster than normal you would've been... why’d you do it?”  
  
The Kryptonian looked at her in confusion, “Why’d I step in to try to save people?"  
  
Alex shook her head in frustration, "No, Kara, why'd you take all those bullets? We could've saved Lena right after... I was on my way! You could've died..."  
  
The superhero understood her sister's need to protect her. And she understood her sister's worry and fears and yet, Kara couldn't help but get slightly aggravated at the question, "Alex, I know I don’t have super powers right now but I can’t help it… I couldn’t just stand by and watch Lena get kidnapped or someone get hurt.”  
  
Alex shook her head again, “Lena had already texted me and the police were also on their way towards the restaurant. Even if they took Lena, they wouldn’t have gotten far… and that’s a big IF Kara because, like I said, we were on our way there. When I got there and saw you… you were completely limp Kara I thought you were…” The director couldn’t help but let out a sob. Despite the pain, Kara leaned forward to try to rub comforting circles on her sister’s back. “I thought we lost you Kara… and then the entire time you were unconscious, I couldn’t help but wonder if you… well, if you-”  
  
“No” The superhero replied bluntly, catching onto what her sister was worrying about.  
  
“You’ve been so.. So Not-Kara, which isn’t a bad thing I totally get it and you are allowed to feel the way you do with everything you’ve gone through so far. And I totally understand if it wasn’t a conscious decision… maybe in that moment it brought up everything for you and you went in headfirst and I-”  
  
“Alex I promise you I was not trying to die,” Kara firmly interjected, “I just… reacted.”  
  
The older Danvers let out a sigh of relief, “Okay.. if it ever does get that bad though-”  
  
“I’ll talk to you,” the blonde promised. She smiled, giving her sister a reassuring hug while wincing in pain before adding, “Or Kelly. I promise.”  
  
“Thank you. Are you okay after all that?” Alex asked after pulling away from the hug and helping her sister readjust her position on the bed.  
  
The heavy tension in the director’s voice had dissolved into a more casual worry, which helped Kara breathe easier as well. “Actually I think I might be doomed…” The blonde recapped her disastrous date night, starting from her conversation with Aster and ending with the chaotic kidnapping attempt.  
  
“So… I’m going to go out on a limb and guess things with Aster aren’t going to work out. Is that why you’re doomed?” Alex tilted her head in confusion.  
  
“No. I’m doomed because I’m still… I still have feelings for Lena…” Kara mumbled. A soft melody started in her head, making her feel more melancholy than she already felt. _If I could go back just for a night, I would see the future and I'd make it alright. Oh if life was a movie I'd hit rewind._  
  
Kara paused for a second, trying (and failing) to figure out where the song was coming from. _Imagine if I knew how to turn back time. Imagine if I never messed up. Imagine if we never even broke up. Imagine if I had the power to control the voices in my head, and I could tell them all to shut the fuck up._  
She wasn’t hearing someone singing the song, Kara realized with a start, she was singing it to herself. Like an actual earworm this time. Maybe she finally stopped hearing other people’s thoughts in song!  
  
“Kara…” Alex stood up, concern dripping from her voice.  
  
_Imagine if I never told a lie. Imagine if I knew how to always get it right. Imagine if I wasn't such a coward, and I had the courage hidden somewhere in my heart to look at-_  
  


“Kara, why are you singing?” Alex stood up, concern dripping from her voice.  
  
Just then, the door swung open, the loud thud cutting off the song from Kara’s head completely.  
  
“Lena?”  
  
  


  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was planning on having this be one long chapter but university had other plans on the workload side of things. So enjoy this short chapter until I have time to write again!  
> If you want the songs I've used in this so far/ songs I plan to use/ songs I listen to while writing this fanfic, I've included a link to the spotify playlist below (or simply search up 'SplinterTheStars' on Spotify and click on the A03 playlist). As always, thank you guys for reading!  
> https://open.spotify.com/playlist/6KYFGhvVrEsBJjNvUc02om?si=FjfV2_jBS5aTtc3LDUB0xw


	14. Kara’s Extraordinary Glitch Pt.2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _"...I had to find you, tell you I need you_  
> 
> 
> _Tell you I set you apart_  
>  _Tell me your secrets and ask me your questions_  
>  _Oh, let's go back to the start..."_  
> 

The room was hanging in the dense state of forever. The air suddenly seemed so cold and Kara couldn’t help but shiver. To top it all off, she was stuck in a staring contest with Lena Luthor… and though her heart rate picked up and the nervousness found its way back in the pit of her stomach, she couldn’t look away. Maybe she feared that if she blinked, the young Luthor would vanish from her sight. Maybe she feared that if she blinked, the other woman would break the trance and resume giving her the cold shoulder. Whatever the case may have been, Alex finally cleared her throat after a couple of moments, and stood up to get both the women’s attention. 

“I’m going to go look at some labs. Then you go do a mental health check in before we run some tests and let you heal,” The older Danvers had used her Director voice, leaving no room for complaints on Kara’s end. Nevertheless, she still gave her sister a hug before walking towards the door. What happened next made Kara sure she was either hallucinating or in a dream because instead of walking right out of the room like she expected her sister to do, the redhead stood by Lena and patted her on the shoulder. Alex gave her a nod, and some sort of silent conversation seemed to pass between them before Lena responded with a small smile and the Director finally left the room. 

Kara was full of questions. She had so much to say and so many things to ask but the room got uncomfortably quiet again as the door slammed shut and the CEO shifted awkwardly in the same spot. Just as the superhero worked up the courage to speak, Lena blurted out, “I didn’t know you could sing like that.” 

It was odd, Kara thought, for as long as she knew the raven-haired girl she never forced small talk like this. She was expecting some yelling or cold stares but this? This was new and confusing and the blonde-haired woman had no idea how to respond. 

Kara blushed, “I loved musicals as a kid. For a while I wanted to do theater but I was always too weird to join.” 

The CEO stayed silent for a little while longer, still shuffling her feet ever so slightly, before responding, “Is that why you broke out in song just then?”

“You were listening in?” 

“I was re-checking your vitals.” Kara didn’t know what answer she was expecting but the cold and clipped way the raven-haired girl had just responded made her wince. 

She took a moment to refocus her attention on the conversation and let out a little sigh before shifting her body on the bed. She bit back the pain that just shot through her body and patted the space she made on the bed, “Would you like to sit?”

Lena hesitated and the blonde feared she crossed a boundary. She was just about to take her offer back or awkwardly change the topic when Lena took slow steps towards the bed and gently sat down. Kara tried to offer a smile but the other woman refused to make eye contact. This was still a win, the superhero reminded herself. She was here, sitting so close to Lena…. Then why did it feel like she was still a million miles away? Would it always be like this? A sheer chasm between them? The current always too strong and the river too vast? 

“Are you okay?” Lena snapped the writer out of her mini-spiral with a worried look and a hand resting on the superhero’s knee, anchoring her to the present moment. Kara swore her skin caught on fire just where it met Lena’s hand but she shook her head, attempting to ignore the sensation. 

“Ofcourse,” she choked out, “Why?”

“Your heart rate started spiking…”

“Do you care?” Kara retorted, sounding a lot harsher than she intended. 

Just as the blonde was about to apologize, Lena blurted out, “No but despite being a villain I do care about this city, Supergirl.” The name was venomous on the young Luthor’s tongue and Kara winced for a second time. In that moment, the blonde was sure that she herself hated Supergirl more than Lena did. Afterall, Supergirl was the reason for the great river between them. If it hadn’t been for Supergirl messing everything up, they could’ve stayed friends. 

Another couple moments passed and Kara was sure the other woman was going to get up to leave. Instead, they sat there in more nerve-wracking silence. Finally, Kara let out a sigh, letting her shoulders relax and allowing herself to slouch back into her pillow. 

“You were never a villain, Lena. I’ll hate myself forever for calling you that… I only thought it would snap you out of the path you were on. I never thought it’d lead you deeper into the dark…” Kara felt the CEO’s eyes on her but she kept her own eyes fixed on the ceiling, afraid that anymore eye contact would break her emotionally, “I know my apologies are just empty words to you. I deserve that. I broke your trust even though I knew how important trust was for you. But keeping Supergirl from you was a purely selfish move on my part… I just loved the way you adored Kara Danvers. And, yes, I kept my identity from you to protect you but I also kept my identity from you for too long. It was only because I didn’t want to lose you… I just- I’ve lost so many people Lena… and I know- I know its not an excuse but I just wanted to have this one thing...just this one thing with you. I couldn’t lose you… I wouldn’t have been able to handle it. That was definitely clear to me after Crisis -” Kara whispered the last sentence and stopped talking completely as her voice got too choked up to continue. She was holding back tears and her entire body was trembling as the truth fell out of her to the person she had wanted to talk to for so long. Deep down, she knew she could never make it right with the raven-haired woman. But a tiny part of her couldn’t stop hoping; after all, she was the paragon of hope.

“What happened...” Lena started off so softly, the superhero thought she had imagined it, “What happened with Crisis? I’ve always wondered…” 

The question caught Kara off-guard. The whole situation really was catching her by surprise. But if this was going to be her only chance to talk to the other woman, she would tell her everything she wanted to know. So she took a deep breath and told her everything she could. Well, almost everything. She left out the part where she realized she was in love and she was too choked up to go into detail about the emotional toll the whole situation had on her as well as the rougher parts of being stuck in a pocket-dimension. She felt tears dripping down her face as she struggled through the recap but clenched her hands into fists and forced herself to keep going.

Lena listened to all of it. She analyzed all the superhero’s micro-expressions and the way her heart sped up during the more painful parts. And when Kara started crying, she rubbed comforting circles on the superhero’s knee. 

“I’m so so sorry Lena- for all of it. Even more sorry for trying harder when the world reset. When we worked together to-”

The CEO lifted her hand, finally interrupting Kara’s story, “When we worked together, I didn’t want anything to do with you. I wasn’t ready to have my walls broken down again just to be betrayed. It didn’t have anything to do with you not trying hard enough.”

Kara nodded, not knowing how to respond to the statement when she still felt so guilty on the inside. Lena had finally looked away from her and the superhero followed the woman’s eyes all around the room before speaking again, “I’m glad you have Andrea now….You deserve someone you can let your guard down around.”

The CEO’s eyes widened slightly in shock and she looked as though she was struggling to find the right words to say. Kara panicked, thinking she crossed a line and started rambling, “I’m sorry- I just meant that… well, you guys looked good together during um dinner and well I don’t think you’re together together but-” 

“Kara…”

“I mean I’m not presuming that there’s anything going on I just- well, its not my business obviously but Andrea said some things and… well, I just- I just figured things weren’t just platonic which was confusing at first because trust but then the Crisis and I-”

“Kara.”

“You were both dressed up and I didn’t know you were going to be there.. .I should’ve left right after then it got uncomfortable and I’m just- I don’t know how to-”

“Kara!” Lena grabbed the superhero’s arm and if the Kara hadn’t been so busy being in shock by the physical touch, she would have winced in pain. Again, the room stilled but this time, Kara was sure someone sucked the oxygen right out of it. Lena was so close to her, their faces inches apart and for the first time in a long time, the blonde took the time to study the other woman’s face up close. She still looked beautiful as always, but there were obvious black circles under her eyes and a barely- visible tension line on her forehead. Her eyes seemed brighter and yet seemed to hold the same amount of sadness at the same time. Kara couldn’t help but flicker her eyes down to the CEO’s lips before she stared back into her evergreen eyes. Suddenly, Lena pulled back and the cold hit her skin the way rejection hit the pit of her stomach: quickly and unyielding. She shivered at the loss but stayed quiet as the other woman prepared to speak. 

“We have a lot to talk about. I thought I was ready but I’m sorry this is… a lot,” she breathed, standing up from the foot of the bed. Kara’s stomach started swirling in nervousness again. Does that mean Lena wanted to talk to her? SHe wasn’t going to ignore her for the rest of her life? What did she mean when she said it was all too much? Was she really that bad of company? Kara just nodded, a headache starting to form from all the overthinking. 

“First, we need to get you healed and back in fighting shape, Supergirl,” Lena offered a soft smile, her tone sounding genuine and Kara reveled at the fact that the other woman had just said her alter-ego’s name without it sounding like poison. But as quickly as the smile came to the superhero’s face, it quickly fell. 

“I’m not Supergirl anymore…” Kara confessed. 

If the CEO was shocked or confused at the news, she didn’t show it. Instead, she shook her head and gave Kara’s forehead a poke, surprising the both of them. “You’re always Supergirl, Kara. It’s a part of you. Powers or not.” She didn’t wait for a response and made her way towards the door, “And we’re going to fix this.”

The raven-haired woman walked out the room, not even bothering to close the door, leaving Kara as confused as ever. How did Lena know about her lack of powers? When did she know? _Come up to meet you, tell you I'm sorry, you don't know how lovely you are._ She didn’t know whether it was because her mind had suddenly flooded with music or because of all the unanswered questions, but Kara’s brain was starting to ache. _Tell me your secrets and ask me your questions. Oh, let's go back to the start._ She was hopeful about the fact that she had finally had somewhat of an actual conversation with Lena, but she was still left with this ache in her chest she couldn’t describe. _Running in circles, coming up tails, heads on a science apart. Nobody said it was easy.It's such a shame for us to part._ One thing was for sure, she didn’t want to lose Lena completely again. If this was her being given a second chance, she was going to take it. _Nobody said it was easy. No one ever said it would be this hard._ She was going to try her hardest to make things right, no matter how painful or confusing it was sure to be. _I was just guessing at numbers and figures, pulling the puzzles apart._ Kara had to shift slightly on the bed on account of being uncomfortable again and her head was now starting to throb but she just couldn’t shake the song from her head. _Questions of science, science and progress, do not speak as loud as my heart. But tell me you love me, come back and haunt me. Oh and I rush to the start._ Kara was sure something was wrong as she finally became self-aware of the fact that she was singing out loud but she couldn’t stop herself. _Running in circles, chasing our tails, coming back as we are._ She wished she could rip the melancholy music right from throat but no matter what she tried she couldn’t help singing. _Nobody said it was easy._ She heard a shuffle by the door before she saw her. _Oh, it's such a shame for us to part._ Lena stood at the open door again, looking conflicted and Kara never hated her weird musical powers more. _Nobody said it was easy._ With one last look at Kara, Lena closed the door. _No one ever said it would be so hard..._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lena heard the songgggg *cue internal screaming*. These two just need to make up already.  
> On an author note- I'm sorry for having these Glitch chapters be so short. I was planning on one big chapter but alas now we shall have a lot of painful, short ones instead. Sorry :/ . Atleast we have some character development going for us.


End file.
